Struggling

Hi Peachyqueen,I’m so sorry you are struggling,it sounds a very stressful situation.Speaking to someone will help so perhaps you should phone Macmillan/the Samaritans as they will be there to listen.Would your husband be able to apologise to your sister ? Is there any way you can get your family together and tell them how this is affecting you ? If they care for you they won’t want you to be suffering mentally.It’s hard enough going through cancer you don’t need this additional worry.I had a huge row with my sister over her conman boyfriend but we were able to get past it.You should be being supported not shouted and screamed at.I hope you will phone someone.Sending a virtual hug and hope for an improvement in the situation.Love Jane xx

I'm so sorry to hear this is all happening to you. It sounds like you and the people around you have a lot of stressors going on. Having cancer, dealing with treatments and being caught in the middle of warring personalities, and opinions of loved ones must make you feel out of control and alone.

I sounds like people on both sides are trying to determine what is best for you and your children. It may be a good idea to speak with a councillor to work out for yourself what it is you need in your life right now. 

I do not know everything that is going on with you but it would be worth reaching out to Macmillan to see if they can prove you with resources for counseling, transport, or financial support. It sounds like any burden they can take from you, your partner or family would be beneficial.

 You can call their support line at 08088080000. I wish I had reached out much sooner.

Thank you so much for replying, and for the advice. I was absolutely in a pit of despair, at probably the worst time of my life. Unsurprisingly, there was a knock on effect, and as I’m so run down and exhausted, I’ve ended up with 3 different infections, which have absolutely wiped me out in my recovery week. Thankfully I had an appointment with the oncology nurses yesterday, and they have all been wonderful. They know me well enough by now, that I’m usually a positive ball of energy, despite going through treatment. So when they saw me have a complete breakdown about everything that happened, they all rallied round, and have been so supportive. They’re going to arrange some sessions with a Psychologist, so that I can talk this all through with someone. 

At the moment, my family have agreed to focus on just my health and treatment plan. As they can all now see that this is all too overwhelming for me, and that my health has to be the priority right now. So things are slightly improved. 

I hope being able to talk with the psychologist will help and that you soon recover from your infections.Take care of yourself.Love Jane xx

Sorry to hear that it is taking such a toll on your body but it is wonderful to hear that the health workers around you are advocating. It sounds like being seen and heard has really helped. 

That is amazing to hear that your family have agreed to put aside differences. Speaking up, especially when caught in the middle, must be hard but examining what you need and advocating for yourself is something you can do to look after yourself.