Emotional and marital stress

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I'm 18 months into my cancer journey, diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer . Part of the treatment involves being put into menopause, which brings it's own challenges. I'm an introverted person. 

As I'm navigating brain fog and cognitive changes (due to hormonal treatment menopause) things take longer and I'm often forgetful. There's an increasing sense of frustration coming from my husband, who tries to look after me but I feel that sometimes he thinks I'm deliberately like that and doesn't accept that I can get easily flustered and overwhelmed with certain information. 

Also if there's a disagreement (there's currently an atmosphere between him and my mum who stuck up for me in May while I was being made redundant) thinks I've not done things "the right way" or he can't see my point of view in a discussion , his voice gets louder and aggressive which upsets me and brings me down very low - not good when I'm depressed. This is happening more often and I need to find a way to stop it, as the stress is not doing me any good. I'm also concerned about potential gaslighting. 

I'm conscious that the stress won't be helping me with the fight against the cancer and life is too short to keep arguing. 

Thanks for listening, I just needed to get this written down.

  • Hi  and I see from your past posts that these problems have been going on for a while.

    I fortunately have no first hand experience with this but let's look for community members to pick up on your post.

    As always the Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Sorry to hear you are going through that. Going through treatment and dealing with this at the same time sounds extremely stressful. It is ok to NOT put up with this sort of environment. 

    Like Mike stated, Macmillan centers and phone lines are a good resource. I wish that we utilized their services much sooner than we did. There are support workers, volunteers and counselors available that have experience supporting people who are in the same situation as yourself.

    While your journey is unique, you are not alone in your experiences. 

    I hope what I have said has been of some value and if you care comfortable with it, let me know how you are getting on.

    Mars X