Help, mentally broken and too much to cope with!

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I post this asking for absolutely no judgement! I am 2 years post diagnosis with aggressive cancer! Just before diagnosis me and my partner (who both have children from a previous marriage) were trying for a baby, for obvious reasons it never happened! Then I was sunken into hell of cancer and it’s still non stop! Constant fatigue and pain, constant fear and on so much treatment! My problem is my partners youngest is the reason I wanted a baby with him and now my mind has associated her with everything I have lost and will never get back. She will now be coming over on the only days that we have to ourselves so will have no rest and recovery time! My issue is because of the association in my brain every time she is mentioned it makes me feel physically sick and like my heart has been ripped out! I can’t carry on as it’s affecting my already broken mental health! With limited life left I want to live and make memories while I can and we have no space left for this now. How do I move on and get over this, has anyone else had something or someone that deeply associates their brain with everything they have lost and the trauma of cancer?

  • Hi  and I see it’s your first post so a very warm welcome to the Macmillan Community but sorry to hear about your diagnosis and ongoing challenges.

    I left your post to see if you would get a reply from members with similar experiences…… you still may get a reply but in the meantime you may want to put up your own post in our dedicated Breast Cancer support groups.

    These groups are safe places to talk to others with a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, personal experience, to ask questions and get support. To connect in with the group please click on the link below…….

             Breast cancer

             Breast cancer for the under-50s

    ……. and once the group page opens you will see a [Black - Click to Join - Banner] at the bottom of the page, click in this box and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.

    You can then introduce yourself to the group by putting up your very own post by clicking [+ Create new post] or [+] in the top right of the group page.

    You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

    The Macmillan Support Line is open between 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00…… this service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.

    Talking to people ‘face to face’ can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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