Miss you mum

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Hello everyone I only joined yesterday, I am a daughter of a person who was fighting for nearly three years with three different cancers all of a sudden she was my mother and lost her battle to cancer at age of 60 and was a great big shock to all even with the doctors I was going to be told in a different way to others because of my disability etc but it happened with in two days that she went in hospital I wish I got to say goodbye and had a letter or a video from her saying how much she loved me like others do for there families and friends all I have is happy memories and wish there is more after care for the people who are left behind

It has been nearly 10 months 6th October 20231

14th July would of been my mum's birthday and it has been really hard for me to take it all in and deal with that my best friend my mother is no longer here to be there for me and others who were close to her

I never thought I would do a read out at my own mum's funal and in my own words I am really proud of me for doing 

I went back to the treatment place where I last remember being with mum this was yesterday and I felt mum being there in that room while I was saying thank you to the lady who helped us something I had to do I am glad I did it please under stand I am dyslexic when reading this thank you wow this was so hard to write thank you for reading this sorry it is so long

My Mum had breast cancer she thought she beaten that then they found a sell then found two lots of cancer, brain cancer and I wasn't told about the other one she was a fighter until the very end

I did a writing group with from me to you yesterday I really enjoyed myself I wish I knew more about it and I wish they do letters for people who have there family to cancer would help in someway 

I was wondering if there is a way that I could see the ladies who supported my mum when having her treatment twice just to say thank you so much

Remember I will always love you mum and your my hero in my heart i will swim my hardest for you and keep up to date with my courses and writing letters to from me to you to help others and write my own story about mum and I happy moments, goodbye invited guest to coping after i hope i can carry it on

  • Hello TraceyAnne

    Welcome to the Online Community. I am pleased you have found the emotional support forum and I hope that you find it helpful.

    I am really sorry to hear about your Mum and her cancers. It must have been a really hard time for you all. I hope that all your happy memories provide some comfort.

    I lost my Mum to cancer many years ago and to begin with I did find anniversaries and birthdays hard but it does feel easier with time. I think it is trying to focus on the happy times and to think that she is at peace from any suffering. We still talk a lot about her as a family, especially when Grand children are born and at other special times. 

    Well done for putting together something to read out at her funeral- not an easy thing to do and harder with dyslexia as well. I am sure it would have bought comfort to others.

    I am glad you had a chance to return to where Mum was treated and it bought some comfort. It sounds as if writing things down does help- it does for me- have you considered doing a journal to help remember Mum perhaps? Some people find that helpful.

    You ask about how to thank the people that cared for Mum- I wonder if one of the best ways would to be to write to them and explain how much their care helped Mum. Simply having someone say thank you and also explain what helped- could mean a lot. 

    If talking things through at any point would help, then please do consider giving the Support Line a call, they are lovely on there. The number is below. 

    I also found Cruse helpful. I will pop a link here in case you would like to have a look.

    Home - Cruse Bereavement Support

    Hope this helps a bit- your Mum sounds a very special lady and I hope that you are finding some comfort from the happy times you have had. If there is anything else you need, please do ask.

    Jane

           

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hi Tracey, the loss of my mum is one of the most horrendous things I have ever had to go through so I can empathise with how you are feeling. I love the fact that you write to her and perhaps it’s something I should do myself so you writing about her is already helping others as that hadn’t occurred to me.

    Like you I’m sure I find those anniversaries tough and even now after 6 years will still go to phone her when I see or hear something that I know would make her laugh but instead I talk to her in my head.

    i know you’re grieving so take care and be especially kind to yourself