Husband uti

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Hi. I need to rant. In the past, before he had bladder cancer, my husband had 2 uti. He didn't tell me anything was wrong until, 5 days into it, he said he felt ill. After he had his radical cystectomy,  4 days after he returned from hospital, he developed an infection. Once again, he kept quiet. 3 days later, he happened to mention that his urine was smelling. I shouted at him. I told him that he needed to tell me so we could phone the doctor and get antibiotics.  He said he was sorry and he'd tell me immediately if it happened again. Tonight, whilst watching the television,  he let slip that his urine was smelling again. He said that it crept up on him and he had only noticed this morning. I lost the plot and shouted and cursed him. He became emotional and said he was sorry. I'm reaching the end of my tether! I don't know why he keeps doing this. I'm worried about him and this is stressing me out. I can't seem to get through to him how important it is to tell me immediately so something can be done. Can anyone give me any advice about this? I'm banging my head against a brick wall.

  • My late mother was like this so I understand your frustration.My partner is like it too,he has been really ill recently and reluctantly made a gp appointment.He almost cancelled it on the day as he was feeling slightly better.I got quite cross and said he should go which he did.He was sent straight to hospital and admitted.I feel for both of you,having been through a cystectomy I know how tough these early weeks post op are but it is hard for you as well.Does your husband have a specialist nurse ? Or may be someone else in the hospital team could reiterate what you are telling your husband ? Best wishes Jane 

  • Hi  

    I’m not sure if you are aware, but urine can tend to be smelly if you have a urostomy after bladder removal, as the stoma is formed from part of the intestines.

    It doesn’t automatically mean there is a UTI, although it should be ruled out. I know my urine smells much stronger if I haven’t drunk enough and is much darker in colour. Is your husband drinking enough water? 

    Sarah xx


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  • Hi. Yes he drinks a lot of water. We contacted the doctor and hubby gave a urine sample. It was an infection. He's been given antibiotics. 

  • Hi Lbell,I hope the antibiotics help and your husband feels better soon.Jane x

  • Hi  

    I understand your frustration. My dad is like this and won't seek help if feeling unwell. He has Parkinson's in his defense, but from reading many posts on the community, it seems to be a common situation and in general, for men in particular. I'm not sure if they don't like any fuss or don't want to appear weak by being ill.

    Would it help by letting your husband take the lead in organising appointments, urine samples etc? It is just a suggestion but he may gain confidence by doing it or there again you could be back to square one. I hope you find a solution.

    A x

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