Lost in Space

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I feel that I am lost in space and floating in a void created by cancer that has eroded my former identity. Work gone. Some friends have simply disappeared, and I can not really travel much beyond the house or immediate locality. There is a sort of distance from everything, plus the sword of Damocles with the constant real threat of progression and recurrence. 

How I wonder will I close the gap and feeling of disassociation?


  • He Leo , I somewhat agree since I have found out at age 37 that I have stage 4 kidney cancer I to feel like I’m floating . Even though I feel well enough to work and there aware of what’s wrong with me there is kind of a mental block . My wife has forced me out the house (much needed ) at times . And she’s encouraging me to go back to work while I’m in limbo . Is awaiting biopsy/surgery dates . But since I heard them words everything’s become 5x harder . Motivation is low . And I was severely depressed. But that seems to be evening out now . Anyway it’s my big day today I’m off to guys so I should finally have a plan . Hope you feel ok 

  • Good luck Kyle8 , sending you positive vibes to keep your spirits up.

    Much love Angela x

  • Thanks . Here’s to hoping . I want to be here for as long as possible 

  • Hi Leo, I can identify with some of your feelings of being lost. Life has changed so much since your diagnosis. I too recognise friends disappearing and for me that hurts. Long covid stole my identity before the cancer did, it takes sometime before I realised I am not just a diagnosis. 
    you have a battle that you are in, one that you didnt expect or sign up for. It may help you to talk to someone at maggies or macmillan, those that understand the feelings of a cancer diagnosis. 

    I had the counselling offered by macmillan , it helped and i cried alot

    Have you heard a date for your surgery yet ?

    Much love Angela x