Feeling useless

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My close friend was diagnosed with liver cancer in February, this is inoperable, and she has recently found out her chemotherapy hasn’t shrunk the tumour, although it has stopped it spreading, her consultant has suggested putting her on palliative care. She had only had 1 round  of chemo!!!

unfortunately she lives 4 hours away from me, so I am unable to offer much support. She’s only 47 and it all feels so hopeless now. I feel very guilty for feeling so low and anxious, when I should be being strong for her. But I feel so upset constantly.  I can’t believe the consultant wants to give up on her already!!  

  • Hi  and I am so sorry to hear about your close friend and that you are living 4hrs away from you.

    I have an incurable cancer so I am on the other side of the journey but you may find it helpful to join and post in our……

    Family and Friends


    Supporting someone with incurable cancer

    ……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the same practical and emotional challenges of supporting your friend and indeed yourself yourself ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi

    thank you for your kind words, and group suggestions. I am so sorry for what you are going through, and do hope this group is a support for you 

  • I am fine and getting on with living life to the full…… I have been supporting folks on the Community for over 7 years and I have to say that I have talked with many many people in worse situations than my one….. everyone deals with the rubbish journey in their own way…… my way is not to let my cancer define me…… I define how I live Wink

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi  

    I'm very sorry to read of your friends situation and that you are feeling upset and worried. I understand your shock at the Consultants words but some cancers are found late, some don't respond to treatment or the cancer is a type that there are not multiple lines of treatment for.

    I have incurable cancer that is currently stable. When it returns, chemo is my only line of treatment. I can have chemo again but it will not work as well and eventually will not work at all. The cancer will work out how to override it. I just wanted to point out that not everyone with cancer has the same chances. The Consultant may not be giving up, he just hasn't got any other treatment options for her. This will eventually be my situation. 

    Best regards 

    A x

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  • Hi 

    Im so sorry for what you are going through. Thank you so much for your message. 

    I think I feel more angry for my friend than anything , she was a long time trying to get a diagnosis, to begin with , and as you say that is half the battle. 

    I hope you have lots of lovely people supporting you and hope the cancer stays in a stable condition for as long as possible x