Suddenly Feeling low

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I am on Deb & Tram for stage 3 Melanoma. 10 months in to treatment. 18 months since initial Melanoma was removed. I struggled emotionally having to wait 6 months between initial removal and stage 3 diagnosis. But I feel lucky that side effects of treatment have been minimal. I've been able to work throughout treatment. Why do I suddenly feel like I'm back to square one emotionally?? I have no confidence, I feel useless at work, I cry, I want to dissappear under a blanket. I feel like I should be greatful for feeling healthy and able to live a normal life but I feel like I'm on the edge emotionally all the time. 

I've had a look through similar low mood threads and have booked a wellness assessment. Really just looking for reassurance I guess. 

  • Hi  and I see it's your first post on the Community.

    I have a totally different type of cancer. It's an incurable blood cancer and my journey started way back in 1999..... so over my 24+ years I have lived in a treadmill of treatment...... partial remission...... treatment..... partial remission.......

    For me it was all about acceptance that the journey was rubbish....... but then taking control of the noise between the ears. So my focus is always on defining how I live and not letting the journey define me....... "easy said and done Mike......" I hear you say......

    But we have to make choices..... one of the many lessons I have learned over my 24+ years living with my type of incurable Lymphoma is encapsulated in this thought….

    The road we navigate on our journey has two directions to follow. There are two signs along this road one sign is pointing to Pessimism, a mindset that always sees the worst will happen, not appreciating that the many treatments available can do the job, where stress and worry controls every aspect of life and as a result the journey is made extremely hard and draining.

    The other sign points to Optimism, a mindset that is full of hopefulness, determination, confidence about the future and appreciates that the treatments available can turn the Lymphoma tide….. even in the most challenging storms. It’s important to continually seek to choose the optimistic direction as this simple thing can define how you walk out cancer journey.

    I see that you have joined our dedicated Melanoma support group........ Why not introduce yourself to the group, put up the same post as I am sure that you will find people to talk with have are working through the same challenges.

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing.


    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Thanks for your response. I totally agree with choosing the optimistic direction. I guess the challenge is finding that direction when all you want to do is head down the easy path of pessimism.

    It is really nice just to know someone has read and taken the time to respond Hugging.

  • As a tool you may find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper

    After Treatment Finishes - Then What?

    by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.

    Once you have had a good read come back with what jumps out at you ((hugs))

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi Mel,

    I had vaginal cancer..i know...of all places a woman could get it...

    I was very up and down, my sons father ended our relationship 4 weeks after I got the all clear (cancer was the straw that broke the camel back!), whilst I was still recovering from the side effects of treatment and my anxiety was through the roof...but, I got through it, the one thing that helped me most was reading the Chimp Paradox...I really cant recommend it the paperback, not the kindle version, because you'll find yourself referring back..honestly, please buy was a god send 1for me.

    I was 48 and loved sex..Im now 54 and not had sex in over 5 years, because of the affects of the treatment..but, its a trade off, my son was 6 when I was diagnosed and he is now see him grow worth it..I had my very low points at the start, the whole "why me"...but, the ethos of the Chimp Paradox is life isn't fair, and once we realise that, it becomes easier and we shrug more of the sh*t off, because its not worth holding on to...

    It does get better with time, what people fail to understand though is it's not just our bodies that cancer affects, it a total head mess up...but, I can assure you, you will be fine, I'm 5 years NED now..I had a recent MRI because i found a lump, but I wasnt even worried, because worrying isnt going to change the outcome..and if it does ever come back, I will fight it every step of the way and have whatever body parts removed to make it go away!

    x Shell

  • Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I am now in the possession of your recommended book and ready to meet my inner Chimp. Takling this crappy low feeling on all sides. 

  • Hi Mel...enjoy..let me know how you get on with it..

  • Hi Shelley, Looking for some positivity today and came across this post - reserved the book at my local library. Thank you! I really need a good steer on how to deal with my fears and frustrations!

  • Hi  

    Just come across your post today. I've had the same type of cancer as you, as secondaries of womb cancer. I think we have spoken before. 

    I have had counselling and I read a lot of self help but if the last few weeks are anything to go by, I know I still have work to do mentally. Thanks for recommending, I'm awaiting delivery.

    A x

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