Christmas vent

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So this is my first Christmas since diagnosis in April of metastatic BC. It's made me more grateful for any wishes or gifts received.

However my husband said this morning that the gifts he received from my mother had no thought, some of which he threw at me (he said it was to me rather than at me), and that he'd take some of it (a v.expensive aftershave) to the local charity shop.  My mother in her mid 70's is recovering from a hip replacement . She is the most thoughtful person I know. I've tried not to think about it but can't get it out of my head. I told him he was ungrateful (& given my own situation certainly doesn't warrant such a reaction). 

I understand he's stressed about my health and financial situation (which is ok currently), and he was having counseling, but it's beginning to affect my own stress levels which doesn't help while I'm dealing with stage 4 BC. 

I don't know what to do about it as it can't continue for much longer.

  • Hi  

    I'm sorry that this has happened to you over the Christmas period. It can be a stressful time, relatives, expectations and  reverting to old roles in the family etc. I'm also sorry to read of your metastatic BC. I can see that you have joined our incurables group. You will find a lot of support there. It sounds as though your husband is angry at the moment and is taking it out on the presents, making your mum the target rather than you because of your health. He may be angry at the commercial side of Christmas and it's lack of importance as compared to your ill health. I would suggest trying to talk with him about it and trying to see if these reasons are what is actually going on. I would also make it clear re the affect his behaviour is having on yourself and your health. If he will not engage in sorting this out and you need to talk to someone, can I suggest the Macmillan helpline, they are really helpful and may suggest more options for going forward. This is the link to contact https://www.macmillan.org.uk/about-us/contact-us

    I hope things improve for you and that this can be sorted.

    A x

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