Cant shake it

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Theres people on here and my 5 kids, wonderful work colleagues, support lines and nothing seems to make me feel better. I feel like the doctors have disappeared. I feel like a bad person cause others have it much worse then whatever is going on with me now the lungs been removed. I had back problems and I did stretches when laying flat on my back that I feel like I heard I'm not supposed to lay flat on my back and to be honest its killing me my legs hurt from the stupid circulation socks and it's making my mind go in bad places feeling this uncomfortable. I hate baths so one good thing about going home Tuesday is I have a shower and I cant wait..most of the scab is gone. Thing is I'm scared cause I want to run away and change my name.so no one can ever find me again so I can have a new life or just lay down and give up which is what I feel like doing... I want as I believe in God and need that tiny peice of heaven he has reserved for me . The thing is I wish hed take me to that little peice of heaven now instead of later..

  • Well done for taking the dog for a walk.  As Jane said that's a big accomplishment. ClapClap

    Daisy53

    Community Champion Badge

  • That was but here we go with the games my 19 yr old plays. Running upstairs shouting how everyone hates her and stuff. Shes why I didnt want to come home.. 

  • Well it plummeted I feel like crap or worthless.. I ache and my 19 yr old has gone out of her way to make it a horrible day where I'm the bad mom. No offense I wish shed move out of my house to be honest. I just want to go back to my other daughters house where the recovery was going good.  I just want to give up to be honest..

  • Sorry to hear that your 19 year old is giving you a hard time.  Please don't give up, while it doesn't feel like it now you've come such a long way.

    Sending you a hug. xx

    Daisy53

    Community Champion Badge

  • Thank you.  I'm trying not to. But she makes me regrets choices I've made. I mean at minute I have cancer I think they got it all but I could be going and taking care of my mom and she truly needs me where the 19 yr old just makes me feel crap cause shes not getting her way..  it's just horrible..