My husband has advanced rectal cancer and is on a palliative pathway. He's 67 I'm 59 and we got married at the end of May 2023. He's had 6 out of 12 rounds of chemo and side effects are kicking in more. The cancer has changed both of our lives. We used to go for very long walks now he is unable to walk more than about a mile. Although I feel massively for his plight I'm struggling because I find myself blaming him for mine, which is unfair I know. However I've retreated into myself and have found we're drifting apart. He's not very good at talking about emotions and I'm keeping it all in to try to spare him. He's told me he's worried about how I'll cope without him but I'm struggling to cope now and I'm unsure what to do. It's so hard to be the one who is going to still be here as our futures are very different. Can anyone suggest a starting point?
Hi Kate64 I just wanted to drop in past to send you some supportive ((hugs))
I have lived with my incurable cancer for a number of years and in part, I understand what you are going through as I have seen my log suffering wife navigate a hard journey..... we unfortunately have a very open communication so we know what each other is thinking and going through.
You may benefit from joining our dedicated Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you may connect with others navigating the same challenges.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and provide support from all the family.
((hugs))
