Low motivation

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Hi

Im being treated for secondary breast cancer with mets in lungs and bones. I’m on Palbociclib and anastrozole. I have stopped working, it’s a long story but had handed in my notice before I was diagnosed and was all set to go self employed now feel I want to enjoy the years I have left and not stress about work and money. I have enough money and will access my pension, so no worries there. My problem is that I have very little motivation to do anything even sorting out my pension. Unless someone else organised it and invites me I don’t do anything much except read , do a bit of gardening and housework and play games on my phone. I am going for an assessment at my gym for a cancer rehabilitation program that I have been referred to. Has anyone else found this? There’s so much I could be doing but I can’t be bothered. I am more tired due to the drugs but I don’t think that’s causing the low motivation. I used to walk everyday but don’t even do that anymore. I eat and eat and am putting on weight. I feel so disappointed with myself. 
Help! 
Jac x

  • Hi Jac

    Yes, I have phases of feeling like you describe, with very little achieved each day. But then I seem to have phases of activity too, and more of a sense of urgency! 

    Don't beat yourself up about it though! It's not something to feel guilty about, or cross with yourself about. I'm sure you will get more energy back.

    I felt so fed up last week, I just booked myself into a b&b and went away for a couple of days. It hasn't kick-started me into action again, but it was a change of scene.

    I hope you feel better soon!

    Candysmum

  • Once my main treatment was done I left the hospital in a wheelchair….. I had no operations but did have Stem Cell Transplant so I was rather ill and did ended up in CCU a few times……

    I lost so much muscle mass I could not walk…… so the recovery was long and required some perseverance to get back on my feet and walking.

    My head could have went down many times but my wife kept showing ‘tough love’….. at the start of my treatment I got my wife to agree that the moment my head started to go down she she had to push me on….. once I was on my feet and walking with sticks she took me to a weekly circuits class at my local Maggie's Centre, this, plus doing their 7 week one afternoon a week Where Now? course were my turning points.

    You set little daily achievable goals……and if you don’t achieve them then tomorrow is a new day and you go again.

    Mike (Thehighlander)

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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  • Hi again Jac

    Reading through your post again, it struck me that the description of how you're filling your time all sound like solitary activities...reading, playing games on your phone etc. Maybe you need to be around people more? Could you go out for coffee with a friend? The cinema? Nothing too strenuous, just a chance to connect with others? It may give you a bit of a boost? 

    Thinking of you! Hugs

    Candysmum

    • Thanks Mike, I am nowhere near a Maggie’s centre and understand how good they are. I do have a helen Rollason Centre near me but it’s quite difficult to get an appointment there, they do massage and reflexology. I’ve got one booked for next month. 
      Thanks though
  • Thanks Candysmum,

    I saw you had gone away on another thread, what a great thing to do! You’re right about seeing people, I do my best to do things with other people. I am volunteering this morning and Thursday morning. I enjoy those times. It’s the in between times I struggle with. 
    I went to the gym for an assessment yesterday so will start on Wednesday and Thursday afternoon

    I git one step forward to sorting my pension out yesterday, I think writing it down helped motivate me. 

    Thanks for your reply 

    love Jac x

  • It sounds very positive! Getting sorted with gym sessions, sorting your pension, and volunteering. Good news!

  • Hi Jac,

    I know you wrote this awhile ago but I just came across it.

    You sound EXACTLY like me. I now gave zero motivation- and I ask miss going motivated with a zest for life - I basically just camp out in my bed, watching tv and playing phone games - I never thought life would ever be like this - and I feel I'm so lazy - I don't even cook anymore - I use to LOVE cooking - no it's a piece of toast if I can get bothered. This new life isn't much fun hey! X thanks for posting, it's good to hear similar situations as you don't feel so alone xxxx

  • Oh my goodness Victoria, I’d completely forgotten I wrote that! I do feel different now so take hope from that. I slowly came out of that mood and over the months. I’ve been trying to figure out what made the difference. I think it must have been the retreat I went on which was September so just after I wrote that post. A charity I’m involved with organise then, called Make 2nds Count. Every year they offer retreats up and down the country. There were about 40 of us and we had such a laugh. I didn’t know anyone but neither did anyone else so we made friends quickly. Please look into it if you haven’t already, I think it made all the difference to me. Also rally friends and family, organise visits and days out with them, that will help too. My friend took me owl watching, so magical for me anyway as I love wildlife. Try and organise something each day or every other day that makes you get up and out. Even a walk with a friend around the block every Monday used to help me. Please message me if you’d like to chat more privately 

    love Jac x