Hi everyone I’m new to the community so my story is beginning of October 2022 I found a lump at the top of my right breast was seen next day at doctors surgery and an appointment was made there and then for breast clinic which I had two weeks later, then two weeks after that the results and it was confirmed I had stage 2 grade 3 invasive ductal cancer hormone negative HER2 positive. Obviously like everyone else my world fell apart, didn’t have time to think or process because of so many different appointments and loads of different information to take in and then on 1st December I had my first chemo session and my god the side effects started 24 hours later and how horrendous was they! I told my oncologist I couldn’t do four months of chemo feeling the way I did, so she lowered my dose which was slightly better but…! Anyway last chemo was end of March 2023 and had my single mastectomy on 21st April which recovery has gone well, I saw my surgeon on 10th May to be told the lymph nodes they took for biopsy come back clear so I’m cancer free, I’m having Herceptin injections for few months and then that’s me done. I know I’m lucky compared to some and I’m truly grateful for what has been done for me but my head just feels so scrambled, mixed emotions it’s like my brain isn’t understanding that I got diagnosed with cancer then7 months later I’m being told the cancer has gone. Is it just me or can anyone else relate to these feelings? Sometimes I feel I’m being silly having these thoughts.
Hi LWKent the cancer journey is full of obstacles that have to be navigated. I have been on my cancer journey for over 24 years and I am coming up to 8 years since my last treatment…… but over the first 15 years I only was in remission for 9 months before going back on treatment so although I am still not cured and never will my focus is firmly fixed on living life to the full.
You may find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.
Hi BB3 I am so pleased you found the article helpful...... but it's a bummer about the morning cuppa..... it took me about 4 years to win back my love of coffee..... so don't give up.
Although the article is great it can leave you hanging in the air.....
I often talk on this group about the concept that when we first get our cancer diagnosis we all get an invisible ruck-sack put on our backs.
We then walk through our journey including our treatments, clinics, blood tests, scans, side effects……. and unknowingly, we continually throw stuff into the ruck-sack…… and the stuff builds up. It’s only when we finished our treatment (rang the bell) and look to try and ‘live’ life we realise that it’s not that straight forward.
This is due to the weight of the ‘stuff’ we have collected in the ruck-sack pulling us down…. stuff like pent-up anxiety and stress, the ‘what if’s’, the difficulty in seeing a way forward with life, the disappointments around how some of our family and friends supported us, the silly things people said during and after treatment….. the list goes on.
There comes a time when we hit ‘the wall’ and this is the point when this ruck-sack needs to be taken off our backs and over time cleaned out. It’s not an instant fix but a process…. but the healing process can only start when we are willing to do it and to achieve this we often need help so these are some links that you may want to follow up and see where you can find this help.
One thing I did have to deal with was survivors guilt as I lost some very good friends to different cancers over my years and "why did I survive and they did not".......... but I got some great help through our local Maggie's Centre especially their Where Now? Course and One on One support.
But the paper can be used as a self help tool as a vehicle for change and life improvement.
So get a note book or some sheets of paper and put pen to paper - it is a good way forward.
So a page per subject heading.
Start detailing the things you have done already to move life on in each area and then start to set some achievable goals to work towards.
When you achieve the first goal on each lists, tick it off and then put a new goal at the bottom of the list. By doing this you can actually see your progress and celebrate achievements. When I say celebrate I do mean giving yourself treats and gifts........ you have life - celebrate it.
The headings would be:
What steps am I taking to regain trusts in my body?
What steps am I taking to regain trust in myself?
What steps am I taking to overcome living with uncertainty?
What steps am I taking to deal with the world?
What steps am I taking to regain mastery and control of my life?
Try it, the future is sitting in front of you - think about driving a car. The big windscreen shows the future, the past is in the little mirrors and is getting smaller and more fuzzy as we move forward.....if you concentrate on the past you crash.
Do give this a go and please do come back and tell us how you get on ((hugs))
Hi again BB3 I am so pleased that some of the Information rang some bells for you….. navigating the post treatment world takes time and dedication to walk the thin line that leads to a place of peace and contentment.
I like the lost luggage thought…… give the pen and paper a try 
