So Emotional.

Hi Dogman

My dog, Candy (hence my username) has been a huge help to me! It pushes me to take her out regularly, to focus on what she needs, rather than myself. It gives me a reason to get up everyday. And something to cuddle when I'm feeling down.

On the not finishing tasks theme, it happens to me too. Try breaking down tasks into smaller 'chunks', so you can complete one chunk, and feel good that you've achieved it, rather than having a sense of failure that you haven't completed the whole task in one go. You may be over-challenging yourself....you have had major surgery, and your body needs a lot of time to get over that. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to heal.

Reading your post, I would also suggest that this sounds like depression starting. Macmillan can provide help with this, and you could try counselling. I've just asked for this. It could really help you!

I do hope you begin to feel better soon.

Hi candysmum., thanks for replying. 

People underestimate the importance of pets during illness. As you say and I've said,it what's gets you through the day. 

And yes your right, I will look in to counselling. I was in therapy the first time round dealing g with ptsd . My therapist liased with  maggies mental health team who suggested she dealt with my cancer rather than start another therapy session with someone new. It helped  so I will definitely look  into it again. 

Once again thanks for your support.

Take care and stay safe.

Say hi to candy!!

Nick

Hi nick, my mum is pretty much in your shoes too, as a family member I feel useless and I can also relate to your message, I wish I could suggest something but I've come here looking for help as all I seem to do is cry when I need to be strong. 

I'm currently in the process of been referred to the oncologist phycological team for me and my mum but things don't happen quick unfortunately. Its a shame there is nowhere to meet people in the same boat, as I feel so alone.

There are several suggestions I'd like to make to your last comment!

You can meet with other people who are also supporting family members, as most Macmillan Centres, Maggies Centres and cancer drop-in centres have support groups for carers,  who meet informally to share experiences. This gives you the opportunity to meet with others who understand exactly what you are feeling. If you need more formal or structured support, that is available too if you speak with one of the staff. You can post on here, in the forums for carers and family members. You can use the helpline, and the helplines of other organisations too.

I visit my nearest drop-in centre when I can, though it is a considerable distance away. I have found the forums on here invaluable, as a way to feel more connected, and not so isolated. 

I hope you are able to access some extra support  and you don't have to wait too long.

Bless you

Candysmum