I feel like im drowning. I care for my mum , 55, ( I'm 27) who was given a prognosis of a few weeks, 3 months ago.
It's the middle of the night, I have just had to give her a pain relief injection. I feel like my life has been completely swallowed into worrying about mum, it feels like I don't have anything that can give me relief.
She is an incredibly strong woman, I'm worried I'm becoming numb to her pain because I see it so much. I sometimes forget how she used to be like before she got so ill. I forget how strong and kind and clever and creative and solver of all problems. I don't want to forget those things.
Without her strength I am nothing, I have no strength without her.
It is so cruel, I hate hearing her crying out, her voice shaking, it destroys me.
I have lost any ability to be strong anymore, how am I supposed to support her? When I feel so overwhelmed, not emotional, just spiraling and desperate to be ok so I can support her.
As the cancer takes over, I can see less of herself, life isn't really worth living without her, life doesn't make sense, she is the only strength I have ever had in life,, how am I supposed to support her when that strength is going?
Hi Gingercat
Sorry to hear about what you have been going through. I know how close I came to breaking at one point before finding I needed to reach out for help for me.
Has your mum had a needs assessment? At the same time you should be able to get a carers assessment.
Have you talked to your GP about how you are feeling?
You might like to consider speaking to someone on our helpline here - 0808 808 0000 it is open from 8am to 8pm 7 days a week. If you need to talk to someone outside those hours you can ring 116 123 any time everyday.
<<hugs>>
Steve
