I am feeling guilty and selfish. I try to talk with my husband about our situation, and I am naturally quite down to earth and blunt, at times. I accept that I won't be cured of my cancer, and there are signs that my immunotherapy treatment, ongoing, may not be keeping my tumours under control anymore.
My husband cannot, or does not want to face this. He insists that we have to believe that everything will turn out OK. I get quite frustrated by this, as I see it as denial. I can't really express how I'm truly feeling to my husband, as I know he doesn't want to hear it. I don't want to hurt him, but it feels dishonest to ignore the inevitable. Maybe I shouldn't even be trying to express my feelings to him? I have suggested to him that he might feel more comfortable talking things through with someone else. I don't feel comfortable trying to talk with him anymore, it feels too 'close'.
Hi Candysmum
It might help you to look at your feelings when someone has cancer as it might help you understand how he feels.
With my wife's cancer I really struggled and then I did a living with less stress course that really helped me. One thing that I came to realise is that nobody will live forever but I was suffering from anticipatory grief and that stopped me enjoying today.
Talking is very important but it is amazing how talking to a complete stranger - or even trying on here - can help.
<<hugs>>
Steve
