My husband has recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer, how he has been given the diagnosis is a bit disjointed. He was told by the colonoscopy nurse when he had his colonoscopy he was then told he would see the original consultant he saw when he was referred. He then received a phone call to book him for surgery without meeting with anyone. A colorectal nurse called and told him he would likely need a stoma. We then received an appointment but it wasn't until 9th August and his surgery was meant to be the following week. I managed to get him an appointment last week. With the surgeon, it was a very fast and clinical meeting where the surgeon told him he would need 6-8 hours surgery and that he would need a permanent stoma. He then examined him and then said actually I don't know if we can do the surgery it might need to be radio 1st then surgery. He has to have an examination under General Anaesthetic on Tuesday to find out more. My husband has really struggled with this, which I totally understand. He says he doesn't see the point in life, his life is over, why him. Until this he was fit healthy, self employed with a very manual job. He managed work on Thursday and Friday. But he is also very angry. He got up yesterday but didn't want to. He did some jobs in the house but went to bed at 5 got up for dinner then went back to bed. Today he says it's too hard to get up. We have a teenage son who we haven't told the diagnosis yet as he suffers with his mental health. I have told him that we love him and I am with him all the way. But he says no one can help him. What would your advice be on supporting him? I feel completely lost, I want to take this away for him. I know I can't but want to help him to get through this.
Hi Sam17 and I see it’s your first post so welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' cancer type and support challenges can help a lot.
Can I recommend you consider joining and posting in our dedicated Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer support group as this is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
You will also find our Ileostomy, colostomy and stoma support group helpful as well
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family and friends you may also benefit from joining our Carers only support group where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into any new posts. You can also scroll through other members posts in the groups and click “Reply” to get involved.
It’s a challenging time for you so you may want to use the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
