hi
i’ve been diagnosed with renal cell cancer two years ago, at the age of 24. I had my right kidney removed, then because of a medical error I had to have another operation to remove right adrenal gland, after two months I found out I have mets in my liver, spine and lungs. I had immense pain from the mets in my spine. I started treatment, immunotherapy, radiation, it helped, but came with their own side effects, after a year of treatment suddenly my legs gave out. It turned out that due to both the radiation for my spine half a year before, and due to immunotherapy I have myelitis, I haven’t been able to walk unassisted for a year now.
when I started treatment everyone was telling me how a positive outlook and the will to fight was most important, that it was a success for many people, but now I’m slowly losing hope of ever being cured. I remember thinking two years ago, that by this time I will be fine, I won’t need treatment, I’ll have a complete remission.
but I don’t, I’m marginally better when it comes to the cancer metastases. And I’m so much worse physically and emotionally.
I feel angry all the time, I can’t look at myself in pictures and I’m the mirror, I’ve gone from a huge weight loss because of cancer to weight gain because of steroids (to combat myelitis), now I’m still swollen and have lost a lot of muscle in my legs and stomach, I have trouble with urination, and it’s humiliating. I hate myself.
I can’t walk my dog, I have to think about how to complete menial tasks, making dinner tires me out, I do physiotherapy every single day, my whole body hurts and is tired and when I think about the future and living like this longer I want to cry. I’m 26 now and I have no idea how much longer I can go on like this.
Hi Werka
So sorry to hear that you were diagnosed with renal cell cancer two years ago and that you are struggling.
Sending you a big hug.
Daisy53
