Coming to terms with my wife's terminal diagnosis

Hi Ems2150  and welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your wife Emma’s diagnosis and the journey you are all on.

A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support from family members who are navigating the ‘exact’ same journey.

I am the one with the incurable cancer so in part I understand through my long suffering wife how challenging this is. Let’s look for others on the same pathway to pick up on your post.

You will see that Community is actually divided into support groups (discussion rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family you may also benefit from joining and posting in our general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the exact same support challenges.

If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the (Bold) Group Text Link(s) I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."

You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.

Supporting someone you love on their cancer journey can be very hard so you may find it helpful to look at this information on your feelings when someone has cancer and especially this section on looking after yourself. If you're starting to struggle then it would be a good idea to have a chat with your GP.

The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just connect with a listening ear. 

We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.

Please do get back to me if you need further help.

Hi Ems2150, My amazing wife was diagnosed with Metastatic Breast Cancer at Christmas '21. She also has lung, liver and bone mets. Like you, my life and that of our children, were turned upside down overnight. After initial examinations we were told 'Short Weeks'. That, My friend, was 15 months ago. She was started on treatment and when she began to respond to that, she promised herself to get up and out of that bed. With her family's support, she has done just that. She is not succumbing to that negativity that can surround a diagnosis and I am so proud of her. I have had to master the art of acceptance in that time because the outcome has not changed. It is the loss of her that I will find so difficult to accept. It is amazing that Emma is very strong and is remaining positive, draw on that positivity for yourself, it truly rubs off. Your worry and your anxiety is normal, I, and many others feel that too, you are not alone. These feelings will pass, they are raw at the moment and the best way to get some sort of happiness each day...take each day as it comes, be there for her, laugh with her and channel that inner strength for her remember, tomorrow is another day, what you do for her, is what matters most. Take care. David. (Liverbhoy)