I was diagnosed with breast cancer end of November 2021. Had a mastectomy in January last year, then an axillary clearance 3 weeks after. I had chemotherapy (some problems with it, but got through it), then had radiotherapy. The treatment finished in September last year. I worked all through the treatments - obviously had to take the odd few days off due to the side effects, but apart from that, all was fine. I can’t explain why, but I just wasn’t ‘worried’. I suppose you could say I had ‘faith’ that I would be OK (even though I’m not religious in any way, shape or form). Now, a year on, and I’m finding that I’m having some sort of a meltdown. The slightest thing, and I go up like a bottle of pop! I keep asking myself “what if it comes back”? The thought of going through all that again just leaves me in bits - crying, shouting at people, losing my temper etc etc. Has this happened to other people, or is just me? I really thought I’d come through and out the other side…..
Hi Chriss welcome to the forum and I am so glad that you are through the other end of the treatment. You have moved into the realms which many of us us find ourselves in after treatment finishes. Believe me you are not alone in thinking about recurrence, we all do it. As time passes that thought does get a bit further back in your mind but right now it is at the forefront of yours and little wonder.
I wonder if you could search the internet , I cant seem to find my link to this. It is a paper written by a Psychologist called Dr Peter Harvey and is entitled "After the Treatment Finishes", "What next". I think that you will find lots of comfort that what is happening for you is perfectly ok and normal and I would be interested in hearing your feedback on the paper.
Sending some hugs your way for now.xxxx
gail
Hi granny59 - the link was posted below by Bear and Tilly and having read it, things do make more sense now. It’s so true. I’m so relieved that I’m not actually going mad! And that this is a common thing that happens to other people as well. Thank you for referring me to it. I’ve actually saved the article so that I can refer back to it whenever I feel the need, and encourage other people - not just cancer patients, but their family/friends/work colleagues - to read it too. Again, thank you! 
