I was wondering how other people had managed to get through this bit. I got the all clear a few weeks ago, and I expected I would feel much better. Instead I've been in a terrible place mentally. I'm on sertraline, which has started to help, but I'm nowhere near recovered. I don't remember anyone mentioning that this bit would be extremely difficult. Given my early diagnosis, swift treatment and good prognosis, I feel guilty for reacting so badly. I'm clear. I *should* be happy. Instead I'm reeling with anxiety.
Last week I spoke to the bra fitting lady at the hospital, and I was getting ready she asked if I needed more treatment. When I explained I was done, she said to be careful as this was a bit people seemed to struggle with. It felt great to have someone acknowledge my feelings. I've since spoken to my neighbour who had the all clear, and she said she was devestated afterwards. She needed psychiatric help to cope. In her estimation it took her two years to recover from the mental and emotional impact cancer had on her.
I'm booked on a moving forwards course, and I'm doing my best to look after myself. At only seven weeks since the surgery, and less since the results, I suppose I can hardly expect to be feeling fully recovered. How did other people manage this bit?
xxx
Hi lux_lu, first well done getting through your treatment and yes, you now have to navigate the final 1/3rd of the journey.
I have an incurable blood cancer so I have had to develop a way to 'live' with my cancer and not allow it to define me....... I define my hard fought for life.
I often talk about the concept that when we first get our cancer diagnosis we all get an invisible ruck-sack put on our backs.
We then walk through our journey including our treatments, clinics, blood tests, scans, side effects (the first 2/3rds)……. and unknowingly, we continually throw stuff into the ruck-sack…… and the stuff builds up. It’s only when we finished our treatment (rang the bell) and look to try and ‘live’ life we realise that it’s not that straight forward.
This is due to the weight of the ‘stuff’ we have collected in the ruck-sack pulling us down…. stuff like pent-up anxiety and stress, the ‘what if’s’, the difficulty in seeing a way forward with life, the disappointments around how some of our family and friends supported us, the silly things people said during and after treatment….. the list goes on.
There comes a time when we hit ‘the wall’ and this is the point when this ruck-sack needs to be taken off out backs and over time cleaned out. It’s not an instant fix but a process…. but the healing process can only start when we are willing to do it and to achieve this we often need help so these are some links that you may want to follow up and see where you can find this help.
Moving forward is important so do check to see if you have a Maggie's Centre nease you as their Where Now? Course and One on One support is excellent.
You may also find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.
((hugs))
Hi again Punchbag
The cancer journey…… for everyone involved, not just the patient is like navigating a climb up a craggy Scottish mountain…… and having a heavy rucksack on your back just makes a hard journey that more challenging.
At times decisions and choices need to be made to help improve the path and find ‘that life’ we are all searching for.
A number of years back a reply I did in our Life after Cancer Group was made into a blog - follow the link to read Cairns and the craggy mountain
((hugs))
