A year after treatment and struggling with emotions

Hi Flamingo275,I’m sorry to hear you are struggling.I’m sure counselling would be helpful for you.Cancer is a tough thing to go through mentally.I coped well with the diagnosis and the surgery but struggled during the recovery.I think it’s helpful to find someone supportive who you can talk to and admit you are not fine.That is hard to do but don’t struggle in silence.I found writing down thoughts and feelings helpful when I was at my lowest.You have been through a huge amount and you need time to process it all.Communication is really important so keep talking.Love and best wishes Jane x

Hi Flamingo275, final 1/3rd of the cancer journey can be hard to navigate as the first 2/3rds (Diagnosis and treatment) you have people walking it through with you.

We also have our Telephone Buddy Service where you can be matched with someone who understands what you're going through, and they'll give you a weekly call.

Talking to people face to face can indeed be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.

When I say ‘local’ for a Maggie’s, up in the Highlands of Scotland it’s not unusual for folks to do a 4-5 hr round trip drive from the West Coats to access our Inverness Maggie’s, that’s how beneficial people find it.

You may find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.

((hugs))

Hello Flamingo275, I had my surgery just over a year ago with chemo earlier this year. I had radiotheraphy/ chemo in 2020, ablation on my liver met in April 2021. Then the rest. I like you cannot get past it. I feel sorry for my husband and like you I want to be me again. I do ask for help and everyone knows I’m not good. Let’s hope something sorts us out. I don’t know about you but I thought I was the only one like it everyone seems to get on with it. Sending hugs Nelly 55 

Hi Flamingo275. I have recently started counselling and am finding it really helpful.  It started off as bereavement counselling but we soon realised that I needed to address the shock and speed of my cancer diagnosis and treatment first.  I feel that we can never really be the person we were before cancer but we can become a new resilient version of ourselves.  I see that Mike has already pointed you in the direction of Peter Harvey’s paper which I found so many things which really resonated with me.  Take care and be kind to yourself xx

Hi Nelly95, thanks for your reply. It's really helpful to know I'm not the only one feeling like this. I'm hopefully going to get some counselling. I read the article by Peter Harvey about recovery after cancer and it made me realise its as hard to accept what's happened as it is to go through the treatment! Sending hugs Flamingo275

I understand exactly what you mean. I had bowel cancers removed in November 2021 followed by chemotherapy for 6 months earlier this year. Various end of treatment scans show everything is now looking ok and perhaps my stoma reversal can go ahead. Embarrassingly, despite things going so well, I can’t seem to feel relief, or that I’m “back to normal” I just feel a mix of sadness and anger which logically makes no sense. Like you I thought counselling might help (I’m a 66 year old man who has never gone in for talking about problems) and, a bit reluctantly gave it try, but I couldn’t get past the second session. At least, having read your post, I know that I’m not the only person feeling this way. Hopefully time will sort things out and perhaps in a years time we will both feel very differently.