My fiancés dad got diagnosed a couple of weeks ago, with cancer of unknown origin. He’s been given 18 months or less, we are all devastated.
Im trying to support my fiancé, I’ve taken time off work to be with her, I’ve pretty much moved into her parents house and left our house apart from a few days a week and I’m trying to give her all the help and support I can.
However, I am struggling as well and when I struggle or get upset or anything like that then I want affection, wether that’s hugs, holding hands, little kiss, anything like that really.
She just seems to push me away, wether it’s not take my advice or physically push me away when I try and comfort her, at the moment it feels like we are friends, sometimes not even that.
I do not want this to break us but it feel that is going that way and there’s nothing I can do to change it because she doesn’t want my support, I’ve tried to be really romantic and tried to have a bit of us time… but if anything I do she doesn’t want.
it’s really upsetting me now and I need some help and advice please x
Hi TMO123
Eveyone's response to a cancer diagnosis is different and if we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer we can see a whole range of issues.
I know at times when my wife was in hospital she would say "don't worry about me" - like that was ever going to happen but there is a certain understanding of what she meant. I know at one point I frankly broke - then I found someone to talk to who helped me realise I had to carve out some time for me.
Unfortunately none of us can go back in time but I know for us cancer has helped my wife and I find a new and even deeper connection - and that is after 29 years of marriage.
<<hugs>>
Steve
