Please don’t suggest the Samaritans! I am a single parent now aged 71. I have four adult children. I worked my socks off to bring them up. I have no family of origin. My ex has recently been diagnosed with Stage Four cancer. Recently he asked him to remarry him and pointed out the financial advantages etc. These are true but to be honest at this moment in time I also thought it would be a good idea to have a reconciliation. I am a trained nurse and I wanted to be supportive. He said he wanted to talk to the children first and we agreed he would speak to them one by one. Obviously this would be a bolt from the blue but I thought that once it was explained to them they would want to make us happy. My eldest three had reservations but acquiesced. My younger daughter however went ballistic. She has always been his favourite child and he spoils her rotten. I was accused of being after his money ( he is well off) manipulative, interfering and wanting to take over. The next thing that happened was the marriage was off. I am devastated. I don’t seem to do anything right. Everything I say or do is slapped down. If I make a suggestion it seems to be taken the wrong way.I feel as though the atmosphere is one of hostility and suspicion. I feel as though my children have turned against me. The fact I can be treated like this has made me profoundly depressed. My ex is a nurse and he says that at the end he will need me there to nurse him as the children are too busy. But when I said this I was told to butt out.I’ve devoted my life to my children. I never remarried and I am feeling totally unloved.Nothing I say or do is seen positively. Now this puts him in a difficult position, but he says I should try to get on with them. If I try to tell them I am upset I am accused of being self centred , after all they all are, and I should stop feeling sorry for myself. Thats easier said than done when your own children have such a low opinion of you. I can’t see any future for myself. I feel as though I have lost everything. If I try to say I am upset I am told that they are his children too, that he keeps them informed and they are sure others know best. I am considering moving away but it seems I will have to be there at the end to provide end of life care. Incidentally I won’t inherit anything in any case. I am not going to get anything from his current will and if we were to remarry I was going to sign to ring fence his estate. I can’t understand why I am being treated like this. It feels like a form of abuse but if I try to stand up for myself it sets up ramifications. I am apparently just supposed to accept this situation, be prepared to nurse him, have no recognition and to accept at least one of my children accusing me of being after his money. No amount of talking to the Samaritans will help me feel less wretched right now. I feel used and unloved, and peoples minds are poisoned against me. I cannot see a future for myself at all. I just don’t know which way to turn. The children were the centre of my world and I feel dreadfully lonely. Normally I am a pretty capable woman but I have fallen to pieces. I am in a Catch 22
