Out of the Blue

Last week, my wife went to the local shop for a stroll and to buy peppers for the casserole we were making. She phoned me on her way home to say she was suddenly in intense agony and could walk no further. As she has a long term condition in her spine, we put it down to that and I hurried down the road to assist her. She could walk no further even with support and screamed in agony at any attempt. She was stuck on the spot and felt her other leg was tiring and might give way. I managed to lower her to the glass verge, which caused her great pain, and attempted to phone an ambulance, as she could not face being moved. I was shocked to be told that, although my wife was out in the road, the ambulance could be up to '18 hours'. We were finally rescued by a man with a camper van - which he fetched from his home nearby - and an ex-fireman, who was an expert on lifting. How lucky we were - they managed to transfer my wife to the van - which was ipainful to her, but bearable. They took us to the hospital.

We fully expected the pain to be a result of my wife's spine condition, and were stunned to be told, after X-rays and CT scans, that my wife had a fractured femur and cancer of the liver and lungs (although she doesn't smoke). She is still in hospital, and waiting for an operation to install some sort of support into her hip. After this, we have been  told that full investigation and diagnosis of the cancers can take place.

I feel absolutely stunned as we were planning our retirement and a long and happy future together, living somewhere by the sea.

I would appreciate insights and advice from anybody who has been in a similar position. I'm not in the best of health myself, but I am determined to do my best for my wife.

  • Hi  and I see it's your first post so a warm welcome to the Macmillan Online Community although I am so sorry to hear about your wife, this most have been such a shock and challenging situation. It's not unusual for cancer is found as a result of something completely different being investigated. 

    The cancer diagnosis process can be such a stressful and challenging time but I do hope you will find the community a safe place to get support and ask your questions. The Community has various support groups (chat rooms) so as a first step can I recommend that you consider joining our supportive Liver cancer and Lung Cancer groups. These are safe places to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis, treatment experience, to ask questions and talk with others who are supporting family and friends on their treatment pathway.

    If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the Green (Bold) link I have created above. Then once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."

    You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go.

    You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post and as always you can reply to existing ‘Discussions’ by click [reply].

    When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting someone you may benefit from joining our general Carers only group where you will connect with others supporting family and friends

    Macmillan have many support platforms so do check out the Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too.

    These services provide cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.

    To find information covering diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers check our Online Information and Support Section

    Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and provide support for all the family.

    Always around if you need further help in navigating the community.

    All the very best.

    Mike - Thehighlander

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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  • Thanks so much for that. My wife had her operation on Sunday and has now been referred to the oncology department for diagnosis of her cancers, which is the next stage, She is still in hospital and is being helped to regain movement with daily physiotherapy. I am very glad the online community is here and will join the groups you suggest.

  • Hi again , pleased to hear that progress is being made and let’s look for a clear diagnosis and plan to be put in place soon.

    The community is indeed a supportive safe place and I am sure you will connect with people who can help you navigate this difficult time.

    Mike - Thehighlander

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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    Click to see how to add details to your profile

  • I have literally just joined this group & can empathise my mum was perfectly healthy until she took a turn in April with what we thought was a stroke. Unfortunately it turned out to be stage 4 lung cancer metastasised to the brain. We are in total shock & devastated so I’m hoping like you to find some support here. I wish you all the best with your journey and hope your wife can be treated.