Hi 
I lost my mum 6 weeks ago to cancer primary kidney and it had spread to the lung and liver.
she was doing so well but on the chemo tablets she wasn’t eating. Which meant she was losing a lot of weight- she tried and she was fighting.
But she ended up going into a hospice for some respite, was only meant to be a week. But she ended up being there 2.5 weeks and died 7th March.
My mum was my best friend, the person to gave me advice even when I never liked it. She was the person who made me laugh, the first person who I called or would send photos of my kids to. She was my biggest supporter, she’s now gone. I feel lost numb and utterly heartbroken.
But questioning everything, whilst trying to navigate this new dynamic with my Dad and Brother. Distance is my coping strategy for now to manage my own grief and to be present for my kids as I helped nurse my mum for 7 months. I gues as that’s switched off now, I’m a little lost.
Any advice would be much appreciated -
thanks 
Hello and I'm sorry you find yourself on here Racj25 but for now it's a good place to hopefully find support. I am sad to hear that your mum has died recently. It still comes as an incredible shock even though you knew it was going to happen and you must be feeling raw and exposed and as you say, lost.
There is no right or wrong way to feel right now that's the first thing to know. The second important thing is don't expect too much of yourself. As you have children you already have a ready made distraction as their needs don't stop whoever has died so plod on with looking after them as it will occupy your brain for some of the day.
Be kind to yourself and allow some quiet, private time where you can cry or just feel sad. If there is a friend to talk to maybe that may help. As for your dad and brother, they are grieving too and whilst you were close with your mother they too each had their own special relationship with her. Not seeing them can hurt too whilst seeing them might be painful but your pain cannot increase by seeing them and it might be a release to be with two others who cared for her.
I know there's a forum on here just for those who are bereaved so it could be worth visiting that forum to chat with others in similar situations.
My heart goes out to you at this time, be kind to you above all else and give yourself time and space just to grieve. 
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