End of Life Discussion

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I had what I thought was an appointment with the nurse at my Doctors, for blood tests that where requested by my oncologists. When I was called it was in a Doctors consulting room with a trainee registrar. I said about my blood tests which they said they knew nothing about, but they where done. They then started asking me how i was getting on with my treatment, what my plans are for the future my response was to have one. Had I got things in place for end of life so that my wishes are carried out etc etc. This has totally broadsided me. I suppose i have been in abit of denial, but having to sort a care home for my Mum, arguments with the hospital who wanted to send her back home to me. Arguments with Social Services about my Mum. Going for scans etc as well as trying to look after myself. I cannot believe that they did this with no warning, I was on my own. I don't think its right, has this happened to anyone else?

  • What?  Sounds well dodgy to me too!

  • Hi Gezzelin,

    So sorry that happened to you. It sounds awful. I have mostly been very happy with communication from doctors. Today I had my first meeting with the GP who is now overseeing my care and she did ask those questions but in a very tactful way. The only time I've been really upset was when I was seriously ill in hospital (the time when they found I had cancer but also an infection and blood clots on my lungs) and I was ambushed by a doctor accompanied by two nurses and pressured into signing a DNR without enough information or time to reflect. I felt they were telling me very bluntly that I could die at any minute and there was nothing they could do.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say that I found counselling very useful in helping me come to terms with my diagnosis. I was determined not to be in denial about the fact that my cancer is incurable, untreatable, and  will likely kill me quite soon. I think most cancer charities, including Macmillan, offer at least 6 weeks of counselling - I'm very lucky that my local charity is much more generous - and I highly recommend taking advantage of it when you have time.

    Wishing you all the best, 

    Sarah