Preparing myself for death

Hi TDB. I'm so very sorry to read your post, I can feel your pain.

I can see you are a member of Living with incurable cancer forum so I think if you post there you'll get more replies and support from the other members in a similar situation.

I've also attached a link to some reading material which you may find helpful.

You can also call Macmillan Support Services for a chat. They're open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 

Sending you hugs, B xx

Thank you for you information and kind words.

Hi TBD, I just started in the incurable cancer forum, it's great. I couldn't tell if you mean you are scared of the emotional aspects of dying, or the concrete physical aspects. But one book that was recommended to us is "Dying to Know." I haven't finished it, but it does talk about the physical details, if that's part of your concern.

PatriciaV

Thank you for that I will take a look. Any help is good. X

Hi,

"With the End in Mind" by Kathryn Mannix has been highly recommended in the incurables group. I've not read it myself, but I've saved the title for future reference. 

Ooh, I hadn't heard of that one, I'll check it out. Although, this quote from the description on Amazon: "Once a familiar, peaceful, and gentle -- if sorrowful -- transition, death...". I'm not sure that is at all true. From what I understand, death was not at all always peaceful back in the day. But modern palliative care (or hospice, not the same, but overlapping) helps a lot. Nowadays, with the correct medical intervention - which can occur in the home - death can be free of pain, gasping, and a lot of the distress that used to happen. Oxygen and medication can help with shortness of breath (a big concern of mine since I have lung mets), pain meds and other interventions make uncontrolled pain unusual. I am very glad of that, I want to be peaceful and free of pain. But I do not want to feel sicker than I need to be earlier than I need to be because of continuing useless treatment aimed at keeping me alive for a very very short time longer, I completely agree with that aspect.

PatriciaV

Hello Patricia I really empathise with what you are going through and I  don't know if I can help but I'd like to so here goes. On 11/12 17 I was given a prognosis of 18 months to 2 years for advanced prostate cancer with pelvic and spinal bone mets. Well  as you can see I'm still here and I'm still cycling and still working part time even though I'm 68 years young. I stopped all treatment in November 2018 cos the side effects  were atrocious and told them that quality is more important than quantity.  Ialso told them that I'm not afraid of dying  but I'm terrified of pain  and was assured that would be controlled; and it has been.  Hope this helps you through  this difficult time  and sending you lots of  love  . Pete