On Thursday I had my referral appointment for a lump in my breast, several scans and biopsies later the Dr says he's certain it's cancer given my age and its size, I'm only 38, he also requests a full body CT scan which I had today, but ever since Thursday I haven't been able to sleep, my stomach is doing somersaults, and I have to wait until this Friday for my next appointment for the biopsy results. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to calm my mind so I can sleep as I work full time and need to sleep. Also today I received a copy of the scan report and it details the size of my lump(4x4.5cm) and the certainty that its cancer, my mind is now convinced that I'll need a mastectomy and its stressing out.
Hi Catndog and sorry to hear you are on this journey and yes in the early days sleep is a mystery but it’s all about copping mechanisms. I have been on my cancer journey for 22 years and the one tool I have used is a note book….. it’s sounds simple but it works.
The note book is the place where you record EVERY question that comes to mind. The note book goes to all appointments and when the Consultant says ‘have you any questions?’ the note book comes out.
A lot of people freeze at this point and are overwhelmed by information. So you can say ‘yes I have some questions’ you go through each question one by one, making sure you write down all the answers you get. If you don’t understand something you stop the Consultant and ask them to put into language that you understand and remember the record everything they say and again if you don't understand, fold your arms and say 'explained that so we understand' You don't want to be going home after an appointment saying 'I wish we has asked ........'
The note book also helps your sleep!!!!! As these questions often come at silly-o’clock so get the note book out and write the thoughts down and park them - it does help a lot.
The reality is that you can throw all the stress and worry you can find at this and it won’t make any difference to the outcomes or what you are told but does make a difference as to how you will mentally and physically get through the journey.
I would always recommend that there should be two people at appointments as two pair of ears take in far more and the onlooker will catch the stuff the patient will not hear. I would also recommend that you go have a cup of coffee/tea straight after the appointment and unpack what had been said so that a clear understanding is made and with this you can plan to move forward. This is not so simple during Covid times but ask if someone can be with you, if not make sure you have someone on speakerphone listening in so they can pick up what you miss.
The note book should have questions like:
What are the proposed treatments Chemo, Radiotherapy......?
What are the names of the Chemo Regime?
How many cycles of Chemo and how long will each cycle last?
Does this require inpatient time (over night)
How many sessions of Radiotherapy and how long will all the treatments take?
Remember to express any reservations about treatments........ an example - I have Thoratic & Lumber Spondylosis - Spinal Osteoarthritis so I found out in the early stages of my radiotherapy that I had to take some pain killers an hour before I had my treatments as I found it hard and painful to lay on the radiotherapy table for long periods of time.
I see you have joined and posted in our Breast cancer group and this will be a great place to get support from folks who have walked the walk. You may want to check out our Breast cancer for the under-50s group as well.
All the very best ((hugs))
Hi again Catndog, your are going to be ultra sensitive to everything that goes on around you……
am convinced people are going to work out somethings wrong as my boss and I keep slipping off for private conversations, making plans in advance to cover all eventualities
….. yes you should call our Employment Support Team on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available as this will help you understand what this all means for the future….. are they talking about you? time will tell.
But you will eventually need to be totally open with them, my employers were great and I was having appointments and treatments for over 12 years until I retired in health grounds.
Look for distractions in evenings, look for things to do, during my bad times of treatment my wife got into baking and this resulted in us all putting weight on 
Try and control those (your mum!!) who unintentionally feed your anxiety and stress, set some none contact times to give you head space…… but connect in with people you can talk with who have no agenda, friends, family….. and connect into our community groups.
Also check this link to the Macmillan Buddies Telephone Service
((hugs))
