Just want to rant

Why does it seem like all the literature available makes the assumption that any body image issues we may have are only the result of cancer or its treatment? And that everyone is in a relationship? And that all you need to "fix" body image issues is make up and a bit of CBT?

I had a mastectomy and reconstruction in October 2019. I've always loathed my body, but before surgery at least it was more or less symmetrical from the neck down. Now I'm ugly all over. I'm single, but I've slept with someone a couple of times since the surgery, as I thought it might make me feel better about it. I was able to tell him about it beforehand, and he didn't seem to have a problem with it but the 2nd time I couldn't bear to let him take my bra off. Now I can't imagine wanting anyone touching me ever again.

I've been on anti-depressants more than half my life (I'm 45). Having been through the therapy mill too many times I've refused to have any more because it's never helped and sometimes it's made me feel worse. I don't understand how talking to someone about how you feel is supposed to help - there's no practical help they can give and I feel bad afterwards because I've told them all this depressing unsolvable stuff. At least posting this means I don't have to change the subject and pretend I feel all bright and perky now I've got this out in the open.

And then you're supposed to feel strong, and grateful and positive. I don't. The longer this goes on the more I wish I'd not let myself be railroaded into surgery and just let things take their course.