Controlling partner worse after cancer diagnosis

Hi Md16 welcome to the forum and I am sorry to hear how difficult things are for you right now that doesn't sound very pleasant at all.

It may be worth reminding hubby that Ovarian Cancer and Colon Cancer are two very different things with different treatments and recovery times as he may be relying on previous experience to get through this 

You have nothing to feel guilty about you didn't choose to get Colon Cancer and your hubby is most likely frightened that something could happen to you as well and this may be driving his impatience and its most like fear on his part if that makes sense.

There was widespread Black Ice yesterday and people were warned to be careful right across the county so he is wrong in that the pavements were slippy so your fear was not an unreasonable one. Have you tried to talk to him and explain to him how his behaviour is making you feel as he may not actually be conscious of how he is behaving because it is driven by fear.

Meantime  Im sending  some huge big hugs your way for now and best wishes for a speedy recovery for you. xxxx 

Many thanks for your encouragement gail

He probably is driven by fear which i suppose makes him irrational

I have tried to explain that terminal ovarian cancer is very different to stage 2 bowel cancer

It is hard work trying to support him as well as deal with my own fears

Thank you for the much needed support

This really struck a chord for me. I have been in counselling, in part because I have a controlling partner. I divorced him (haven't got the decree absolut yet) but somehow here we are locked down in the same house, and nothing has changed (just as he wishes). It is very hard to cope to be honest. So I have a great deal of empathy for your situation. I couldn't cope at all, if it wasn't for my councellor. I think something like that would be a good idea, you may benefit from support, from outside the relationship. So tell your GP, as it will affect your recovery if you are struggling with life, outside of your cancer (imho)

hello  Tiania

Thank you for your encouragement. I appreciate how hard it must be to continue living in the same house whilst waiting for the divorce. Especially in lockdown!

I have been seeing a counsellor who has been helping me to challenge his controlling ways. Easier said than done!  It is helpful to have somewhere to offload. I have to have more polyps removed in the next few weeks so I need all my emotional strength to get through another colonoscopy after major surgery. Lockdown makes things 20 times worse. I do leave the house to get some space though. My GP doesnt seem to be available due to them being so busy with vaccines. So I have not been able to speak with a gp

I'm so glad you're not facing things alone and can recover resilience at times, makes all the differance. You can do getting through! We both will :)