Have been diagnosed with with SCC in the neck... following removal of subclavicular lymph node, however primary location unknown, I’m trying to keep busy whilst I wait for the tram to get together and discuss. My PET scan showed nothing apart from the neck and a small one in the thoracic region but I was told not lungs. Googling is a dreadful thinking to do, don’t do it, I just burst out crying it’s like a wave of anxiety come over me and I can’t stop it but I’m trying to remain positive. I wish they had not given me the list of markers I can focus on the positive ones But thee are two that appear to give me a death sentence, people say you can beat this, but beat what, I don’t know what I have to beat. Pre removal of lymph i was tired, but nothing else, in fact tiredness is the only symptom... apart from the blood clot caused by the swollen lymph......now, a week past the initial conversation, I “think” my hips sore, or my head hurts... is that a pain I can feel in my chest... am I coughing...
my family live in he U.K. I live in Spain...I’m waiting to see what happens next week and what the outcomes are... I KNOW I can fight anything that comes my way it’s simply the unknown that’s spiralling me downwards and I hate that feeling
Hi Zarasmum
Having a cancer diagnosis makes all of us very emotional and it takes a while to get our equilibrium back again. Most people find that the waiting for treatment to start is the hardest time.
Try not to be so hard on yourself as it's unrealistic to expect that you can remain upbeat all the time and you're bound to have days when you worry. It doesn't help when people say things like "you must stay positive" or "you can beat this" as it can make us feel that if we're not positive we're somehow failing.
My advice would be to just take this one step at a time and try to focus on what you know and not speculate about what might happen. Also, stay away from Google! Right now, Google is not your friend. We're all guilty of trying to find reassurance online but what you tend to find just reinforces your anxiety. Instead, if you want to find information or ask questions online, pop into the head and neck cancer group, which I can see you're a member of, as there are people with a wealth of experience there.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
