Struggling emotionally and feeling like a fraud

Hi Metalminions welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry to hear how you are feeling. As far as I am aware you have had Cancer and having a Mastectomy confirms that it needed to come out otherwise why have the op? The Nurse has put it to you in such a way that it has made you believe somehow that you are a fraud well Im telling you you are not and you are as entitled to be here as anyone else so stop putting yourself down. Cut yourself some slack and acknowledge that you have been through  a huge trauma both physically and mentally and still having issues  by the sounds of things. 

I dont think you will be alone in the feelings of change in body image as many women experience that so you are not alone. Have you thought of speaking to your GP or having some counselling at all it sometimes helps to talk things through with someone else not connected to you. Its ok for you to have these feelings and its also ok not to be ok. Wearing a bra around the house is the first step to healing and maybe thats a place to start it may be uncomfortable for you but even for a short time may help.

In the meantime stop beating yourself up and I'm sending some huge big hugs your way for now.xxxxx

Hi Metalminions, you may feel like a fraud, and there may be others reading this that think that as I'm a man, I have no business being involved, but you have been through a very stressful experience; stressful both physically and emotionally, and all this at a time when the support that you would normally expect isuch as loved ones being present, simply hasn't been allowed. It certainly sounds to me that the comments that you had from the nurse was insensitive to say the least, and the reply from Granny59 was much more helpful.

Whenever something like this happens, we experience all sorts of emotions, and because of this it is difficult to believe that anyone else can understand what we are a experiencing, and so it becomes that much more difficult to talk to those we would normally turn to for help. They in turn, will probably be afraid to talk to you, but this is likely because they don't know what to say, or are afraid of saying something that might make the situation more awkward, so if you do pluck up the courage to broach the subject, try first of all to let them know that it's ok if they do feel this way, and that you will understand if something doesn't come out as intended, or just sounds awkward. Very often, it is our loved ones who find it just as difficult , or even more so, than we do, to come to terms with what has happened. It is not unusual to feel as though you have become a burden and that can easily blind us to the love and support, that our loved ones desperately want to provide. Hopefully, there will be someone on the forum who is more able to identify with your experience, and is willing to respond more appropriately than me.

Hi Metalminions.

I have read your post.. I feel the same bad about myslef even if I'm extremely skinny. My story is much longer that I wrote on my profile but I don't have strenght to write everything I might needed. I lost so much weight after chemos and due to complications and my IBD problems that I'm only 42kilos now and I see a sceleton every time I look at myself. I miss my long hair and my previous body which does not look the same now.. I dont have a sense of touch on mastectomy site and feel my rib cage through the skin. My arm is disabled after op and radio. I cannot xpose myslef to my hubby too as I look so bad. You are not alone. I don't leave home even if wanna come back to work soon. Struggle with basic housework. I am thorn like you. Trauma of pain and hospital addmissions is overwhelming.. you are not alone..