Hi
Im struggling like so many others. I have Triple Negative breast cancer. Had it twice before, 2015 and 2017, second time mastectomy. It came back middle of last year as bone metastases.
I had my PET scan Tuesday and was told treatment is working no new hotspots. I’m having chemo every three weeks, next one will be no. 10. It’s treatable Now not curable.
Im struggling to try to get on with my life and live it to the full while I’m holding my own. I get so angry and upset. Sudden huge drops in my mood. I’m angry that I finally start to live my life with my new husband and we have to face this. I can’t stop planning for him for when I die. Everything to me is timescales.
Im such a mess. I want to be strong and laugh in its face but I’m breaking. I was in a 30 year relationship in which I was controlled. He passed away suddenly In 2015 and then I got cancer. When I beat it and It felt like I’d been given a second chance at life. I felt like a woman again, felt attractive and alive. I met my husband 18 months after my partner died and I was blessed to share his grandkids and to be normal. Now I’m broken again. I feel such a mess, unattractive, fat useless. Waiting for god so to speak. All I want is to learn to take each day and forget the past and not think of the future, but I just can’t seem yo be able to.
