Needing constant reassurance

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Hi, 

In a nutshell, I’m 33 (today) 30 weeks pregnant (tomorrow) and I have grade III breast cancer affecting 4/17 lymph nodes. I also have gestational diabetes. I have recently had a mastectomy and all lymph nodes removed awaiting date of when chemotherapy can start. I’m just really struggling with my emotions today as I keep slipping back to the what ifs as the news and feeds that appear in social media or everywhere it seems of tragic stories is really affecting me. I can’t isolate myself anymore into not hearing or reading these things but I just want to be around for my babies. Yet sometimes when I say this I get the feeling I offend others. I rely on constant reassurance and have to read over previous comments of hope given to me but reading just one upsetting thing sends me back to being scared and vulnerable. I’m not sure what response I’m looking for xxxxx

  • Hi Hughiesbearmommy,

    I am really sorry to read what you are going through at the moment. You have got a hell of a lot on at the moment, so it is no wonder your emotions are over the place. When I was at my most vulnerable, I stayed away from news stories, I just found it all too emotional. I was in a heightened state - I remember crying through the Rio Olympics! I also get the constant reassurance bit, there was a time I suffered with massive anxiety about pretty much anything. I think what worked for me were taking things very slowly, taking time out to focus on things like breathing techniques, trying to stay very present, in the moment, and forcing myself into distraction if I found my mind wandering into an imagined future. These are techniques to help get through day to day, hour to hour, and in the back of my mind I kept telling myself that all these difficult emotions were only temporary - they can’t and won’t last forever. I can’t fight them, but they also don’t define me. And slowly, over time, I lived through them and came out the other side. They were no longer as all-encompassing as they once were and I began to feel like me again. But for a period of time, all I could do was cling on, so I’m really feeling for you as I remember how tough it was.

    I’m really hoping this helps I’m done small way.

    Greg

    PS - and a very happy birthday!