Not given the full facts

Hi I know exactly where your coming from. My fiancé has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer and was told he would need his prostate removed but we did our research and found out that the side effects off this would destroy our relationship totally so we have opted for radiotherapy which the consultants have agreed too but are not happy with.

He is currently taking chemotherapy tablets which we have been told can give you ed but we are managing to have some form of sex life by using tabs from the doctors and ones we get online which are herbal. It’s not ideal as we have to plan when we want sex but it means we can still have some form of sexual relationship. We had planned to get married next august but this has put everything on hold, I can’t tell you how upset we have both been so many tears as we have only been together for three years.

We have also found that there is very little help out there and people don’t want to discuss the sexual side of prostate cancer. 

Im happy to chat with you if that would help as it would also help me too.

Oh Yes please. I am sorry you are going through this as well. It's a terrible disease and compounded by the fact there is little of the support we partners need. I tried doing a blog right now but the button won't come up for me to post anything. I'm wishing we had been told more about the risks...there is a huge difference in age between us and one nurse did ask if we had kids together but nothing was ever discussed. I truly believe more support should be there for us and also to help the men. The Cancer affects so much. I am of course happy to have him with me but wish I could share more about what I have lost because we have both lost. Hubby sleeps more now and had it D deficiency. Everyone has gone back to their lives and we are left with the rest. I hope you both find more support where you are and yes I am happy to talk. What was his Gleason score?

His Gleason score was 3+4. My fiancé is only 57 and we are in Norfolk and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of places here to get help and advice from.

I feel that unless you’ve been through it or are going through it nobody really understands as you say life around you just goes on. My fiancé sleeps more now but I think that’s due to the tablets he’s taking, I just accept he will get more tired. We still have a long way to go as this is just the start of the treatment for him.

Hi and Wifey007, just happened to spot your thread. There's a specific society for prostate cancer

https://prostatecanceruk.org

Hope that's useful

Thank you

Thankyou Buttercup. I called them but they haven't got any support groups for Wives/partners unfortunately. Great for other info though and I use the website a lot

Maybe they'll get the idea they need support groups for partners?!

It’s much needed no real help out there 

Let me know how you get on We are now on the waiting list to see a Psycosexual counsellor. I hadn't heard if it before but they help you through all of this..wish I had known before we started to be honest but at least we are now on the list.