Feel I'm just making a fuss

Dear Nina60, no you are NOT making a fuss!! ( not shouting, don't know how to bold/ underline on here)

Don't feel you've got to justify yourself either.

Sounds to me like you're doing the usual mum thing of putting everyone  else first. You've already waited nearly  a year  for heaven's sake. If you need a hysterectomy, get on n have one.  That told u didn't it lol?

Your younger daughter will carry on wanting attention, whether you have the op or not.

Is her dad around to share the load, as you will need to take it easy for a few weeks post-op, eg no driving, carrying heavy loads, if I remember correctly. ( Had hysterectomy for secondary cancer in 2008)

I expect you'll get replies in the Womb cancer group too.

Good luck for your op n  don't cancel it.

Let us know how you get on x

Thank you. Yes, hubby shares as much of the load as he can. We adopted both our girls. Both have attachment issues. The older went through a lot more as a little child but our bond is quite amazing. Younger had more settled early life in many ways but has a condition where she never learns from experience. 

Thanks for explaining.

Hope u didn't think I was too harsh in my initial reply 

Hi you sound so down about things, hope you get the treatment you need ASAP and things with your daughter can be resolved or at least get a little easier.

Take care and keep in touch.

Not at all buttercup01. I won’t be cancelling my surgery. I don’t think my sister in law will let me! I nearly walked out of the first hysteroscopy but she managed to keep me there. 

Sadly Kazdan it is unlikely anything is going to be resolved with the youngest. We dealt with it all really since she came home to us. I’m not going to go into details here but we lost a lot of friends due to her behaviour. We had to deal with many complaints and she continues to make false allegations against anyone who she thinks has said something negative. It became worse when she was about 11, and after she was sectioned under the mental health act for the second time and we still got no support we had to evict her. Took another year of fighting, two more times of being detained under section, and one voluntary detention before anyone accepted she needed support.

But I will be having my surgery and if possible I will not have her visit for longer than 30 minutes, for the next few months after. 

I hope the surgery goes well for you x sounds like you have your work cut out x your health should come first x all the best to you x

Hi Nina60, have u had your op yet?

If so, hope it went well. If not, fingers  for u xx

Hi, my surgery is next Thursday. My youngest is getting more and more anxious and over the last week has been calling the mental health crisis team, 111, and 999. Telling them she is suicidal and is about to walk in front of a car. She has managed to get another young lady involved in this and between them they claimed H had walked in front of a car, the other girl had pulled her out of the way and in the process been hit herself by the car, which had then driven off. For a number of reasons those of us who know the girls and the area in which they say this happened, do not believe a word of it. But H was transported to a&e via ambulance. I have lost count how many times she has been at a&e. I took her once because on that occasion I felt she was genuinely distressed. She was treated with respect and care and understanding. The nurse was brilliant, had met her before, and spoke very clearly with her and put in a good plan.

H called the ambulance again the following night. The placement cancelled her counselling session and took her to the gp instead. She is now claiming that no one is listening to her or doing anything. Today I cannot get hold of her. So I cannot do anything.

So I’m trying me best to look after myself but it’s not easy. I didn’t sleep Tuesday or Wednesday night. I was very wobbly on Thursday and wasn’t able to concentrate on anything at all.

Dear Nina60,

so sorry to hear what you're going through with your daughter. It would be bad enough at the best of times, let alone when you're facing surgery. 

Try n focus on yourself n getting through that surgery next week. We'll b thinking of u xx