Also I have now been out of circulation as far as work goes so long that people have moved on, and I don't have anywhere to pop into any more. My partner has been very kind lately as I think at last he understands where this is going to end for me - but as he has no contract and this is a busy time of year for them his boss is asking him to stay late and I don't like to be needy. I love it when I can get into a beautiful new-to-me book - I read the whole of "Oranges are not the Only Fruit" this morning, which takes me away from real life (mine).
We live in a city, not a nice part, and I only know the names of the people at two other houses, and my family don't live nearby - the usual 2008 demography. Friends have been so kind, but they are very very busy, and I have lasted 18 months instead of the "3-4 months" so I think ,although I tease people that Compassion Fatigue has set in, many people have just presumed that I will go on indefinitely whereas I feel ill and extremely stressed but don't want to frighten them off by whinge-ing or appearing negative.
I have some amazing friends on here - especially those with a similar prognosis: they are the people you can tell the truth to, and the people who - unfortunately - know what you mean....
I totally understand what you are going through. Nobody understands until they walk in your shoes. I am a recently married 32 year old with advanced cervical cancer. I live in another country and I have no support. My husband seems to think that this is the flu and it will blow over. He does not understand that I am on a rollercoaster here. I live on pain medication because I have not begun any type of treatment yet. The doctors cannot treat me in this country so I have to go all the way to Martinique for treatment. The worst part of it all is that my husband is cheating on me and I am devastated. He thinks nothing is worng with that because we are not having sex and he has urges. I have contemplated suicide on several occasions but just cannot go through with it.
I finally got tired of all this emotional drama and I told him I want a divorce and I am going back to my family where I can get some support. As I am typing this he is asleep on the sofa because he is upset about me finding out that he is cheating and I am in excruciating pain. NO HEL P.......NO SUPPORT.
I already feel like less of a woman because i know the next step is a hysterectomy. I am just so tired of trying to be strong. I want to cry. I need to cry. But what wil it matter anyway.
I think you are very strong to have made this decision; you sometimes have to focus on what is best for you and surely that time is now... You won't feel tired forever and I hope so much that things will work out for you eventually. Crying is fine and might release some of the hurt. If you make a blog on this site more people will get to see it and you might get more support, but know that I am thinking about you and admire you for your courage; keep it up lady!
Best wishes, Clarity x
Hi Thomas i am new and just wanted to let u know that im glad i found this site.I havent laugh so much as i do on this site, it really is a God send! I just feel isolated because my family says im strong and to move on, but i cant tell them how i feel as they dont want to hear it. I am better when im on the chat line but i cant live here and i dont want to bring people down.But sometimes i feel we have so much to say and no one to listen which makes me feel soooo isolated, a terrible feeling. Maybe it will get better but i hope it is soon.Thank u for this site it really helps a wide range of people, thank u . From dee dee
Isolation practices can include placement in a private room or with a select roommate; the use of protective barriers such as masks, gowns and gloves; a special emphasis on hand washing (which is always very important); and special handling of contaminated articles. Because of the differences among infectious diseases, more than one of these precautions may be necessary to prevent spread of some diseases but may not be necessary for others. I think that women who were isolated didn’t have a strong reserve of people to call on that help with management of bladder cancer, In comparison to church and community group participation, the ties of family and friends had a significant impact on survival perhaps because they provided care in a way that helped them (patients) manage bladder cancer—pragmatic things such as help to the doctor, help with meds, meals, talking to clinicians and helping with information. Thus, in some concerns, this ailment needs full attention and high demand of money. Money cant generate life again rather prolong and sustain the life of a patient. Money may one of the means for recovery but prayer is still the most important! Regardless, it seems so much more important during a recession. More cancer patients are getting payday loans yet donations to foundations and charitable contributions have increased from some people. (Some no doubt in order to get a tax break, but hey – every little bit counts.) How do you feel about payday loans and money?
i woke this morning to find my mum on the floor yet again for the fourth day running covered in faeces the only person to clear this and make my mum understand what had just happened to her was me? and i thought to myself why me why am i the only one to be dealing with this no helpers there are more family but their not here in fact their never here. but i suddenly had a thought im not alone my mums right there with me shes the one that must count not me. i know shes in there somewhere and i also know that we will be together again one day not in body but in spirit and i know we wont be alone then. thats what keeps me going. i would like to hear off people how they cope with the lonliness?
I lost my husband 5 weeks ago to cancer.
Since Larry died, my family (with the exception of my elderly parents who I don't want to worry or put out) have been ignoring me. I can't tell you how much this hurts. We (Larry & I) have always been there for them -graduations, birthdays, christmas, thanksgivings, weddings, BBQs & get togethers at our house for the past 30 some odd years. Now that Larry has died, it's like we never existed. No cards, no calls no nothing, ever. They only live a few miles away, may as well be on the moon.
It's hard enough losing your partner in life unexpectedly, but then to be treated so coldly by the people you thought would be there for you. I'm not expecting too much, am I? Just a simple Hi, Sorry Larry passed away, or how are you? Anything other than the silence would be appreciated. It breaks my heart. I guess they don't love me.
I am left all alone now in this huge empty house to pick up the pieces, plan a memorial service, settle the estate, manage the finances, sell off excess furniture/vehicles, pack up everything & try to get myself moved closer to my parents. (unlike some of the people in my family, I want to be there to help support my parents when they get too old to manage by themselves). I wish I didn't have to face all of this alone. It's so heartbreaking.
please dont think people are ignoring you they just dont know what too say when my grandson died on the day my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer no-one said a word to me about they spoke to everyone except me about everything else except my grandson, then i realised they just didnt have a clue what to say. but your not alone you have everyone on this site hun.if you ever feel the need to chat to someone there is always here. chin up heres a big hug from me keep going your doing great.they say times a great healer i dont know about that it still hurts but i know it does help to talk so talk to anyone who will listen. my thoughts are with you. take care.maria2239
I have been reading some of your postings and I wonder whether some of the isolation is through a lack of communication.
I know some isolation is geographical and I can't really talk about that.
Sometimes you might wonder why people don't contact you or keep in touch when you get ill. There's a number of reasons behind that too and not really the subject of what I'm writing about. However, could I suggest that communication is a two way street.
Feeling hurt because people don't come around and see you or telephone is understandable, but may be they're waiting for the first move because they don't know how to deal with your illness or loss.
The other problem is the face to face situation of explaining things which can be off putting to some, and understandably.
Here's my suggestion. Why don't you write down how you feel and send a letter/email to the person you want to communicate with and tell them how you feel. You don't need to be critical, simply tell that person how you feel.
Once you've done this you might find it helps get the resentment/anger/hurt out of your system a little and also gives you a sense of having done what you can to remedy the situation.
I feel so relieved to find this topic on this site as I thought that it was just me!!!! Since diagnosis in March this year it has just been a blur, hospital appts, operations and pain!!! My hushand is very supportive but at times I think that he finds it hard to know what to say. I do feel very alone at times even though I have fantastic friends and a lovely sister, I dont like to complain about what Im going through but inside its so hard how our lives have beeen turned upside down, next is 6mths chemo to worry about! I hte this disease its so unfair.
