Really struggling last couple of days and everyone says I’m so strong and my husband is I’m so proud of you how you’re dealing with this etc but internally I’m screaming. I feel like I’m sat on the outside looking in. I’ve completed 5 weeks of chemo radiation and have had 2 courses of FOLFOX. I feel so lonely and trying to continue as normal but it’s resulting in feelings of bitterness and frustration towards my husband as I don’t feel ‘supported’ He asks am I ok and I can reply I’m tired or I ache or I’m feeling low but I don’t think he really hears me I feel like he’s just doing what he thinks he should do. He’s always been happy for me to be the ‘organiser’ and he’s not a bad person at all but we’ve had the conversation I will need him to step up and take control but he just can’t seem to see beyond what I suppose you would term as his usual jobs and then I feel like I’m nagging for things that need doing or thinking about. I feel like a right moaning Minnie but I’m struggling with being vulnerable and the fatigue and just want to feel as if he's got my back and right now I’m not feeling that!
