waiting for CT results

Hi Halofan I know how you feel…… I have been on my cancer journey for over 25 years with 2 rare (one incurable) types of Lymphoma and I have lost count of the CTs and MRIs I have had.

I have had results both good and not so good given to me in various ways, phone calls, letters and at appointments.

In the early days I sat with my great CNS (Cancer Nurse Specialist) and she was very honest “Mike, you can stress and fret as much as you want when you are coming up to scan time but the reality is you can throw all the stress and anxiety in the world at this and it won’t make any difference to the outcomes but the one certainty is - stress does make you ill…… control the battle between the ears and only worry when you are told there is something to worry about”….. and she has been spot on over all these years.

I found this article very helpful

What Is Scanxiety and How Can You Manage It?……. Choose Hope

The first time you read or hear it, “scanxiety” may look and sound like a funny word. However, when you are going through it, there is nothing funny about this very real condition. From the first scan following a doctor’s suspicious discovery to the pos.t treatment PET scan, the fear and worry that accompanies imaging appointments can take a significant toll on your emotional and mental wellbeing.

Fortunately, you can take steps to minimise and cope with the sometimes-overwhelming emotions you feel.

# Acknowledge your Feelings

Don’t try to ignore the way you feel, as this can actually increase your anxiety. Instead, recognise and even embrace your scanxiety. This first step empowers you to take action, move forward and manage your emotions, helping you find peace and feel more in control of your own life.

# Talk about It to the Right People

Venting your fears and frustrations to people close to you can be a wonderful way to release stress and gain vital support. However, if you have folks in your life who tend to exacerbate your worries or load you up with even more concerns (and really, who doesn’t have that one friend or family member?), avoid sharing too much with them.

# Practice Mindful Living

Ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu said, “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” Look for ways to live in the moment. Hug your little boy and inhale deeply, noting the mingled fragrance of fresh earth and shampoo. Stroke your husband’s face and think about the way his soft stubble brushes your hand. Savour a particularly flavourful meal. Relish in the here and now.

# Distract Yourself

Find ways to take your mind off the upcoming scan, at least for a while. Dig into a novel or binge watch a series that completely engrosses you. Turn up your favourite music and tackle a chore you’ve been putting off for too long. Hang out with that one friend who has a gift for making you laugh. Schedule some time to enjoy your favourite hobby without interruption. If you have trouble letting go, imagine setting your worries in a “to do later” box and tell yourself you can pick them up when you’re done.

# Ask Questions

Sometimes, the unknown is the greatest instigator of anxiety. If you are unclear about anything – from what to expect during the scan, to when and how you can expect to receive your results, to what those results might mean - don’t be afraid to ask your doctor. Having a well-defined understanding of what you will or might experience allows you to be better prepared and can even ease your mind.

# Plan for the Worst Outcome…

Along with knowing what could possibly come of your scan, creating a strategy for the worst case scenario can improve your sense of control. By no means should this be perceived as giving up or being resigning yourself to bad news. Cancer can make you feel powerless, but creating a basic action plan just in case can help  you regain your power as well as your optimism.

# …but Visualise the Best Outcome

Your mind is more powerful than you might realise. Visualisation and guided imagery have been shown to improve your mood, control symptoms or side effects and even boost your immune system. Imagine yourself receiving great news after your scan. Allow yourself to experience the feelings of relief, gratitude and elation. Think about these things as though you are remembering them. Seeing it in your mind’s eye can give you the encouragement you need to overcome your scanxiety.

((hugs))

Hi Mike,

After I wrote the post I felt marginally calmer, decide to distract myself playing a first person online video game. It held my attention for sure. I checked my emails and read your reply. Floods of silent tears ( my 2 are working from home) rolled down my face , not in a bad way Mike. I felt like you had hugged me tight and given me a way forward. I think your reply is one that I will read and again snd again. Thankyou so much. Your 25 year journey has put you through it, and your experience and comforting words are helping me. They are just what I needed to hear. Take care of yourself and thankyou x 

I have just read your story Mike and you are an amazing person . What you have been through and how you have coped ( and your amazing wife) is incredible. Bless you Mike for throwing down the ladder to the rest of us xx

Angela….  we all have to do what we need to do to get through this and out the other end…… in one piece and living the best life we can.

I like this quote from C.S.Lewis - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

“Some journeys take us far from home. Some adventures lead us to our destiny”

((hugs))