Feel Like a Failure

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Hi all. 
Started my CAPOX on Thursday. Had a Right hemicolectomy in Sept stage 3 bowel cancer with 2 /42 nodes.. Oxy infusion was fine (numbed my vein a bit). Had my first tablets Thursday evening. Was woken up at about 1am with the most horrific chest pains and inability to breathe. Lasted only a few minutes, but I was terrified. Husband said I was making the same noises I did when I was in labour. Happened again at about 6am. Helpline suggested could be a reaction to the steroids or anti-sickness, so GP prescribed omeprazole to settle, but pharmacist had none in stock.

Kept on with tablets and same thing kept happening. Got very little sleep on Friday night/Saturday morning and also had pain in both calf muscles. Long story short: advised to stop tablets until my consultant can check.

So I lasted 2 days. 

I have the DPD enzyme deficiency, so was only on reduced capecetebine anyway. I feel like a total failure, but the reaction was really violent and I was terrified. I just want to hide and for it to all go away.

nicnak

  • How are you feeling about this? 

    Were you given a reason why you can’t try the Raititrexed? Has the Registrar assumed that you won’t tolerate this as well? 

  • Hiya-sorry only just seen this!

    I am more than relieved that they’re stopping.

     The registrar had talked about raltitrexed, but when the consultant looked at everything she said they didn’t see the point in continuing with it causing me harm when they might as well check out the lung thing. If the lung thing is cancer then I think they can restart things then, with either raltitrexed or not chemo at all, depending on what exactly it is. 

    If I never have to think about chemo again I will be very, very happy Smiley 

  • Well THAT’s a positive outcome! No more chemo!! 

    Fingers-crossed, you will be given a definitive plan soon on the lung!! Perhaps, with or without chemo, surgical removal may be an additional option.