Feel Like a Failure

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Hi all. 
Started my CAPOX on Thursday. Had a Right hemicolectomy in Sept stage 3 bowel cancer with 2 /42 nodes.. Oxy infusion was fine (numbed my vein a bit). Had my first tablets Thursday evening. Was woken up at about 1am with the most horrific chest pains and inability to breathe. Lasted only a few minutes, but I was terrified. Husband said I was making the same noises I did when I was in labour. Happened again at about 6am. Helpline suggested could be a reaction to the steroids or anti-sickness, so GP prescribed omeprazole to settle, but pharmacist had none in stock.

Kept on with tablets and same thing kept happening. Got very little sleep on Friday night/Saturday morning and also had pain in both calf muscles. Long story short: advised to stop tablets until my consultant can check.

So I lasted 2 days. 

I have the DPD enzyme deficiency, so was only on reduced capecetebine anyway. I feel like a total failure, but the reaction was really violent and I was terrified. I just want to hide and for it to all go away.

nicnak