Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer - too extensive for surgery & thinking of refusing chemo

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My Mum is, or rather was until recently, a spritely 77 year old lady. She was diagnosed with stage 3 Ovarian Cancer, last Friday 4 October. We're told it's too extensive, throughout her pelvic region though not impacting on any other organs, for surgery. However, they can offer chemo. If it shrinks enough, surgery may be a later option. Well, in short she's comtemplating refusing the treatment. Says she's had a good life & she'd rather end it on a good note, than end up suffering further pain, side efffects & ... Well this one of the problems, we don't know what to expect! We're a small family (Im an only child, with an only child) & have been lucky enough to not have any experience of cancer to now. Second problem is that, despite over 50 years of strong & loving marraige, my Mum doesn't know how to tell my Dad whats on her mind. He's always been the one to make all the decisions & she knows he'll expect her to fight it all the way ... regardless of what this entails. I'm the only one who knows what Mums thinking. She's relying on me, not just for support but for advice too & I haven't a clue where to start. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated ... as would links to support.

Many thanks

Amanda

  • Hi Amanda/ and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

    It sounds like you're in a very difficult position, not with providing your mum with support but providing her with advice. If you haven't had this cancer yourself, you won't be aware of the pros and cons of having treatment to be able to advise her.

    I can see that you also posted in the ovarian cancer group and have had lots of helpful replies. Do you think if you show or read these out to your mum it would help her?

    I'm presuming that she'll be having an appointment with her oncologist to discuss the proposed treatment. Would she let you attend that with her so that you can understand how both having treatment and not having treatment will affect her?

    Sending virtual (((hugs)))

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