What help and support can I get for my terminally ill husband please.

Please help me! My husband was diagnosed with cancer of the unknown primary cancer. Diagnosed as terminal with 6 - 12 months life expectancy. We are now 8 months in and too sick for chemo now. Lost 5 stone in weight too weak to walk and now needs full time caring from me. Up until now I have coped without any help. I work full time and over Christmas have been off work so therefore able to care full time for him. Now I am in need of HELP and am scared. Any suggestions of help I think he is nearing end of life and severe sickness combined with washing, dressing and physically moving him around the house has been dealt with by me alone. He is 64 and I am 59 and I’m very scared as well as beyond sad I can’t sleep and I need to stay strong to care for him. Any tips or advise where to turn or what might be available to me please?

  • Hello Sheila you are  not alone and may I just say how amazingly well you have coped till now. My first thought is to ring the helpline when they open the number and times are on this website .They should give you all the information you will need .Then the G.P its seems you need palliative support they should refer you to your local hospice who will be able to provide you with palliative care .Im sorry you are not sleeping and are scared how well I know those feelings and do understand .Im sure others will reply with good advice as well but I just wanted to let you know someone was up and about as well (Just settled Bill back in bed with a hot water bottle ).Let us know how you are getting on lots of hugs x


    Granny Sue

  • Hi Sue,

    Thank you for taking the time to reply i will be in touch with McMillan as soon as i have got my husband up dressed and settled for sure, i have made a list of questions / requirements. We are seeing oncologist today and just the fact that i have to take him in a wheelchair and how very thin and frail he is he might offer some assistance or even admit him to hospital as he is not eating anything and throwing up a lot so i think he needs some intervention. It is just so nice to know that i'm not the only one going through this because at time i feel like i am and i get so scared and sometimes a bit frustrated. We are a couple that never argue but this evil disease takes away the person you love and have loved for many years even while they are alive and its killing me.

    Anyway thank you once again and i'm sure this wont be the last time we speak via this method.