Struggling

hi - my husband was diagnosed with prostrate cancer 18months ago and is on his 2nd round of chemo.  It has now spread to his spine and elsewhere in his body.  I try to take it one day at a time and try not to think of the future (easier said than done i know). 

We are lucky that his outpatient treatment is via our local hospice and they are a great support.  I also recently visited the MacMillan hub at my local hospital who were pretty good although on the day I visited the nurse was away.  Do you have access to anyone like this?  Reading the posts here too helps as it makes me feel I'm not alone. Its also good to rant and everyone here understands. Take care.

Thank you . I feel guilt asking for help when he the one going through it. My husband also on his second round of chemo. Have u noticed any side effects yet ? X I will try the macmillian hub next time we go. 

side effects - my husband has what i call 'jelly legs' - sometimes they start shaking and he can't stop; he really misses being able to drive; took him to garden centre at weekend to get him out of the house but he was shattered after 20mins; i feel guilty if i go out without him but he just can't walk far now. i will try macmillan again next time he goes for chemo - they told me my local one has a carer's support group who meet once a month (sadly i work full time so can't go) - you should ask if there is something like that near you 

Hi triggerjim. Caring for our spouse when they are so poorly is one of the hardest things you will ever do, so please dont feel guilty. You need support so you can support him. And yes, you are going through this too, its different, yes, but you are still exoeriencing a whole range of emotions.

Definitely look at carer groups in your area. Also is there a hospice you can be referred to? They can be a lifeline, and were for me ( my husband died 8 months ago, I was his carer right up to the end).

If you can, try to do something for you , a hobby, a lunch with friends, for me it was singing in choir. 

There is also a carer assessment you can request through your council. Mjne didnt come through quickly enough for me, but it may be worth it. 

Hi Triggerjim, 

my husband has advanced prostate cancer which has spread to spinal cord, causing what is called metastatic spinal cord compression. The cancer is also in his bones and lymph nodes. He is bedridden. 
pour local hospice has a Living Well centre. They offer drop in support as well as organised activities. The hospice itself has a palliative care team and a psychology department that offers support to both patients and carers. It might be worth asking your GP practice for details of any support they and a hospice can give you. Your county council adult and health services department, previously known as Adult social services is also another option to explore. The Princess Royal Trust is a charity that supports carers. Google them for your local group. 
I struggle to get support because my husband doesn’t like me to go out and leave him. You can ask for telephone support which I do every now and then. Most importantly keep in contact with friends a relatives who are willing to be there for you. This group is very helpful and supportive. I frequently vent my thoughts and feelings on here. People looking after others understand what we are all ing through and we need help and support from each other. Take care. Sending a big hug