Hi,
I haven’t written anything for a while because I really don’t know where to begin. Tonight I just need to vent my thoughts and feelings. My husband was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer just over a year ago. It has spread to his spinal cord and in spite of having radiotherapy he is still unable to stand or to walk. A few months ago he developed an infection which resulted in a six week stay in hospital where doctors battled to keep him alive. He is back home now. Doctors have told me he might survive three or four months or maybe another year depending on his ability to resist another infection. The prostate cancer is less of a worry than the heart failure. The heart failure causes fluid retention and builds up in his chest making breathing difficult.
my husband has never accepted his diagnosis and being admitted to hospital when seriously ill, he has little knowledge or recognition of how unwell he actually is. He is understandably frustrated at being bed bound. Physiotherapists are working with him at home to see if he will be able to stand up again,
needless to say life is difficult for us both. We have carers coming in but recently they seem so concerned about the way they are being treated by the care agency,m they pay little attention to my husband’s care needs. The agency came highly recommended and were great at first but since their return after my husband’s last hospital stay, they seem to have gone downhill. Lots of carers who my husband trusted have resigned and the registered manager never replies to my emails and phone messages.
I am feeling lost and alone. Medication is keeping my husband alive and his quality of life is not being improved by it. I think medical science has gone too far in keeping people alive when they have no quality of life. My husband lays in bed waiting for me or carers to move him, put him on the bed pan, empty the catheter etc., there is no joy in life for him. I have to cut up hi food so he doesn’t spill it all over himself trying to eat laying in bed. He has about eight pillows to support him but still isn’t able to sit up to eat.
Where is all this leading to? How long does my husband have to tolerate this kind of life and how can I help him to get enjoyment out of this situation when can barely cope.
Hi Sierraoscar,
I am sorry you are going through all this stuff. Thank you for your reply and you kind words. It means so much to me. My husband’s oncologist has told us my husband isn’t suitable for chemo. His immune system is compromised enough without chemo. My husband wants surgery to fix him….he is unlikely to survive the anaesthetic let alone the surgery. We have a particularly difficult few days but I am hoping he is through the worst of it for a while. He is watching football on tv now…rubbish is all I can say!
we will keep plodding on and try to live one day at a time.
I hope things improve for your husband. Do keep in touch. 
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