Anticipatory Grief

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I can’t believe it’s been about a month since the appointment where at best my husband has 10 years and worst 1. 

It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, forms and trying to find our breath. And there is still so much more to process and sort.

im starting to understand im deep in anticipatory grief, im waiting on referrals but the pain particularly at night often is consuming and can feel unbearable. 

He’s my soul mate, we have strong attachment to each other and our lives revolve around each other. We’ve never wanted or needed anything else and the pain of losing that at all and especially any time soon is so so hard to think, accept or feel. 

Our families aren’t the typical social norm types meaning  large parts of this we are coping by ourselves and made family. 

We have more appointments and hopefully support coming our way but the emotional side for me cuts so deep and often in such unexpected ways. Tonight is been particularly hard 

  • Hi Amypug

    So sorry you and your husband are going through this, I can sympathise with you both and reading your post it could easily be me writing it, my husband and I have been together 44 years since I was 15 and we are best friends and soulmates who do everything together so I feel your pain 

    My husband was recently diagnosed with throat cancer for the 2nd time after being cancer free for 8 years drs say without treatment he could have 6 to 12 months and it's hit like a ton I've bricks,but who knows how long anyone as got left 

    He starts immunotherapy treatment tomorrow so hopefully this will slow things down and provide us with more time but who knows 

    Please keep the chat open here as there are lots of people who help even if it's just to talk

    Take care 

    Jenny

  • Hi Jenny

    Im so so sorry and hope immunotherapy goes well for your husband. Truly sorry this is your second round. I’m sending so many positive thoughts your way