Tips to Cope

Hi Faith2107 

Sorry to hear about your mum, that does sound like it is very difficult and not surprised you are feeling like you do.

The first time I reached out for help was when I walked in to our local Maggies centre and ended up crying out my story. They helped me realise that the only think I had that had some give in it was work. My GP was great and signed me off work.

The sense of greiving is very common and there is quite a good article here that might be of use. 

<<hugs>>

Steve

SRC60 is right, maybe see if you can work flexibly so you have a day off or see if you can get signed off if you think that would help. I personally find work helpful as it gives me some level of ‘normalcy’ to my life but when I had some time off with a horrible cold, my nervous system was better for it, I didn’t realise the impact until then.

We are all in ‘anticipatory grief’, I never knew this was a thing until I tried to understand what was happening to me. I cry driving home, sitting in the garden etc & then try to put a brave face on it when I’m with my mom/family. It’s normal to be upset. 

I’ll be thinking of you. Make sure as well as being with your mom, you also get some breaks with friends/doing something you love - it helps keep you fresh/to get through it.

Sending a giant virtual hug. 

Thank you for your response, I did some reading on anticipatory relief which was helpful x

Thank you Laura, I was actually crying the car driving back from the gym and then read your message. I lost my older brother unexpectedly 16 years ago and he was only 30 at the time. The grief I felt then was exactly how I felt since yesterday. It was learning to manage as I want to spend time with my mum. At the moment she doing well and that’s why this progression is absolute shock.

I went to the gym, cried on the way home and feel better for reading all this.

I just want to navigate or get some control back as have been on this cancer journey with my mum since  was first diagnosed in 2015 and when cancer came back in 2024. 

I will see how I get on with work this week and try the working from home and if focus isn’t there then maybe sign off.

thanks again x