Uncertainty and fear

Hi Darren, I’m so sorry to read this, it is such a stressful time for so many reasons. As much as I worry that I’m drowning my friends in my worries, they do listen & give me support, I hope you have a lovely network of people around you too & do reach out to them and, we’re here too. It’s completely understandable about how you feel. With my mom, I have to keep training my brain to not look too far ahead otherwise it becomes overwhelming. The other day I caught myself thinking about Christmas! I know it’s hard but love the days you’ve got with your partner, the good & the bad & try to make every day special even if it’s just a good movie with hugs on the settee, the future is yet to be. I’ll be thinking of you both. Sending a giant virtual hug. Laura x

Thank you for this LauraB . Following your message, I’m trying to keep my head more focussed in now rather than what may or may not happen in the future. Today he seems to be having an OK day :) Any tips on helping to keep that focus are gratefully received! Hope you are doing okay too. 

Hi just new to this site. My partner had stage 4 prostate that's spread. I so understand your fear, worry and total panic, that's all I feel. Being strong for them takes its toll. 

Thank you for sharing how you feel. We know that we have to be strong, for our loved ones and for ourselves, but it is exhausting. Jay and I talk about many things, but I’ve never shared my fear of losing him with him. I just feel like it would be another worry. I hope you are managing to take some time and give yourself some space so it doesn’t get too much. 

I got told today that we have a couple of weeks left as my mom is deteriorating fast. I have found my mind leaping to different places. I was on a course the other week & thought of our chat. The course said to name your brain/thoughts eg, not today Gloria, we’re having a nice day or ‘you’re safe Gloria & so is my mom, let’s not over dramatise today or right now’, I’ve been trying this to help. Maybe think of a name & give it a try too, it does stop my thoughts when I catch them. 

It’s very kind of you to think of me when you’re at this a difficult stage yourself. 

Our minds are such fantastic things but mine certainly has a tendency to catch me off guard with “but what about this!?” scenarios. I’ll definitely try your naming technique. 

I hope you have a good network around you over the next few weeks and get to spend some valuable time with your mum. 

Hi all,

Something that really helped me was doing a living with less stress course through Maggies. A key element echo's what you have talked about above in living in the here and now as I was doing a good job about worrying about a future I could not control but was able to imagine things a lot worse than really happened. The conscius breathing techniques were also a plus both when life decided to throw us another curve ball but also in helping me relax and get some sleep. The trancendental meditation bit though just made me laugh.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thanks for this information and the link Steve. Someone had mentioned Maggies to me previously too I think. I’m really pleased to hear it helped you. Was the session online or in person? (I’m not sure there’s a Maggies in Birmingham).