So tired and sad

I am looking after my husband and really understand.  It can be lonely. Praying for you 

I get it. My husband is on fifth line chemo for bowel cancer with inoperable mets to the liver and bones and his liver function is deteriorating. I am tired all the time, sad but trying to put a brave face on it for my husband and our children who are 22, 19 and 17 and who have not quite connected the dots. We will have a chat with them after their exam season finishes in mid May! It’s tough but I know how you feel. 

Caring for our loved ones who are so poorly is so demanding, noone really realises until they have done it. ( i cared for my husband until he died 6 mobths ago).

Have you got friends family or neighbours you can reach out to? Is there a hospice? Ours were fantastic and continue to support me. 

Lots of hugs for the strength to keep going and keep talking x

I feel the same Catmum. My mom is in a similar place to your dad with terminal cancer that has spread. We don’t know how long we have left together, she’s so unwell most of the time, I’m on edge constantly & it feels super hard. I don’t want her to feel this unwell but I know when the time comes that I have to say goodbye, I’ll be heartbroken. I’m sending you a giant virtual hug & I’ll be thinking of you both. 

Thank you, sending the same to you. Sometimes there are no words you can say, it’s just tough xx

Completely feeling the same right now with my mum. Just so so sad. Although I want the uncertainty to end I know that will only happen when she has passed away and that is when I feel guilty.

Sending big love to you. Be kind to yourself. You are doing enough x

Absolutely know what you mean. I am exhausted looking after my husband but I'm not doing much. Im sure there is much to come. It can be quite lonely cant it especially as he sleeps a lot. I feel guilty if I ho out girva coffee or a game of bowls but my friends keep me sane. I need time to forget even for a few minutes and just have a bit of normality. Its difficult to pace oneself because you dont know how long it's for. I am tired every day and sometimes ache from sadness but we still manage to laugh at the absurdity of it all. 

Hey!

I am in exactly the same position. Found out last week dad’s terminal, his had two bouts of sepsis. I can’t relax and whenever I’m not with him I feel awfully guilty. I fall asleep holding my phone incase I get a call that he needs an ambulance again…. 

I have been looking after my husband at home since February this year. He has a grade 4 glioblastoma and was given 2-3 months. He lost the use of his left side so is in a profiling bed with carers coming three times a day (it was four times a day but now they have taken away his funding so we are having to economise a bit). He is still here and if anything, seems a bit better. People think this is good but isn’t it just prolonging the agony? I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel or what to expect. I’m bored, anxious, fed up and sad. I can’t get out of the house without arranging for someone to be here to let carers in etc. if I do get out I feel really guilty and can’t enjoy it, just want to get home. I feel this is it forever now. Even writing this I feel selfish because it’s so much worse for him. But a few weeks ago I was choosing funeral songs, now I don’t know where I am. If he could really get better that would be great but it’s no life for him just lying in a bed and occasionally being hoisted into a chair. 

Isnt it all a nightmare but it's a relief to know someone else is feeling the same. Its the not knowing and the inability to pace oneself. My husband is trying so hard to fight the disease but I'm far from sure he's winning. At times he gets so angry and who can blame him. Maybe we have to live each day and try and get something good and not think too much about tomorrow.  

You have an incredible load to carry and doing a wonderful job. Does anyone ever say well done and how amazing you are! You are these and much more  x